Top 10 Great Movies That Didn’t Win An Oscar

As quickly as 2010 came and went, here we find ourselves in the middle of another exciting awards season. The Golden Globes have been awarded and the 83rd Oscar ceremony is next.

When it comes to Hollywood’s highest honors, the Academy’s omissions often provoke more outcry and buzz than the actual winners. The Academy Awards are quite controversial among many film experts and fans. Although the Academy has honored many of the cinema’s masterpieces, numerous other great movies have been entirely overlooked. It seems they weren’t even worth the nomination. Other notable films were nominated, but didn’t win a single Oscar. It’s the case of Double Indemnity (a classic film noir masterpiece with seven nominations!!!) Pretty Woman, Being John Malkovich, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Munich, It’s A Wonderful Life,  Singin’ in The Rain, Mangnolia, The Magnificent Ambersons and many more.

10. Poltergeist (1982)

The first Poltergeist movie was released during the summer 1982. The very successful thriller of the 80s ranks 84th on AFI’s 100 Years…100 Thrills list. The 1986 and 1988 sequels didn’t quite measure up to the original.
Special effects can often make or break a film. It’s for sure not the case of Poltergeist (1982). Many consider that producer Steven Spielberg and director Tobe Hooper are the real stars of Poltergeist, both of them famous for creating awesome special effects. Poltergeist won in 1983 the BAFTA Film Award for Best Special Visual Effects, but failed to win the Oscar. It remains a visually striking movie that harmonically combines effective special effects with a human touch, something most horror movies lack these days.

Poltergeist – Oscar nominations

1983, Best Effects, Sound Effects Editing: Stephen Hunter Flick, Richard L. Anderson

Best Effects, Visual Effects: Richard Edlund, Michael Wood, Bruce Nicholson

Best Music, Original Score: Jerry Goldsmith

9. Ghostbusters (1984)

The 1984 Ghostbusters is one of those few great films “where the original, fragile comic vision has survived a multimillion-dollar production”, said Roger Ebert. The American fantasty-comedy made close to $300 millions in the United States, the equivalent of nowadays $596,878,264 and AFI ranked it #28 on the „ 100 Greates Comedies of all Time” list.

The plot of the movie is imaginative and very well written, the special effects were spectacular for it’s time and the cast was well put together, for both leading and supporting roles. Bill Murray portrayed Dr. Peter Venkman, Dan Aykroyd – Dr. Raymond Stantz, Sigourney Weaver – Dana Barrett and Harold Ramis – Dr. Egon Spengler.

Times columnist Caitlin Moran sparked quite a bit of controversy with her article titled “Sorry Star Wars fans, but Ghostbusters is the best film ever made!” I didn’t read such a funny, yet thought provoking article for a very long time. Great stuff, well worth reading. What do you think? Is she right?

Ghostbusters – Oscar nominations

1985,  Best Effects / Visual Effects: Richard Edlund, John Bruno, Mark Vargo, Chuck Gaspar

Best Music / Original Song: Ray Parker Jr.

8. Vertigo (1958)

Vertigo

Great story with original plot twists, obsessive passions, astonishingly visceral music, spine-tingling suspense, mystery…in one word: Vertigo! Vertigo’s screenplay is credited to Samuel Taylor and Alec Coppel. It  was an adaption of P. Boileau’s and T. Narcejac’s novel, D’Entre les Morts (Between Deaths / The Living and the Dead).

Although Hitchcock’s Vertigo was nominated for only two Oscars, and won none, it is widely regarded as a masterpiece. Hitchcock perfectly combined multiple levels to create a complex movie. On a literal level, Vertigo tells the  suspense-filled mystery story of a man manipulated into acting as an accomplice in a crime. On the other hand, the film’s psychological level reveals a man’s dark and twisted psyche full of fears and laden with guilt. The story follows Scottie’s obsessive fantasies and the desire to end his existential vertigo, “desperately searching for an object on which to concentrate its repressed energy”. (Magill’s Survey of Cinema) The movie explores the dangerous link between desire and death, between falling in love and falling. Finally, at a deeper and metaphorical level, Vertigo retells the ancient legend of Orpheus and Eurydice. John “Scottie” Ferguson, just like Orpheus, travels into the terrifying underworld to reclaim his lost love. These multiple levels blur the fine line between subjectivity and objectivity.

Vertigo – Oscar nominations

1959, Best Art Direction-Set Decoration / Black-and-White or Color: Hal Pereira, Henry Bumstead, Sam Comer, Frank R. McKelvy

Best Sound: George Dutton

7. Basic Instinct (1992)

Written by Joe Eszterhas and directed by Paul Verhoeven, Basic Instinct features Michael Douglas, Sharon Stone, Jeanne Tripplehorn and George Dzundza. The film generated major controversy  due to its steamy love scenes, overt sexuality and intense acts of violence.

A diabolical killer, a brutal murder, a police detective who can’t resist the temptation of danger, and a mysterious femme fatale who promises carnal pleasures, but delivers death. What more can we ask for? Basic Instinct was immensely successful upon release. It was one of the highest grossing movies of that year.

While Frank J. Urioste got nominated for Best Film Editing and Jerry Goldsmith  for Best Music, Sharone Stone and Paul Verhoeven were left out. Still can’t believe that Basic Instinct didn’t win a single Oscar.

Basic Instinct – Oscar nominations

1993, Best Film Editing: Frank J. Urioste

Best Music / Original Score: Jerry Goldsmith

6. Fatal Attraction (1987)

Can you trust that 26 directors rejected Fatal Attraction because they considered it uncommercial? One thing is for sure: Fatal Attraction was not ignored upon its release in 1987. It was the year’s most intensely debated movie, grossing over $320 million at the box office. Fatal Attraction was such a massive hit because it gave the audience something different. As Tom Hanks stated in Sleepless in Seattle: “Fatal Attraction scared the shit out of every man in America.” All the actors’ performances were outstanding. AFI ranked Glenn Close for portaying Alex Forrest #7 on its “100 Years…100 Heroes and Villains” list.
Although popular with six nominations, Fatal Attraction didn’t win any Academy Awards.

Fatal Attraction – Oscar nomincations

1988, Best Actress in a Leading Role: Glenn Close

Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Anne Archer

Best Director: Adrian Lyne

Best Film Editing: Michael Kahn, Peter E. Berger

Best Picture: Stanley R. Jaffe, Sherry Lansing

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material from Another Medium: James Dearden

5. Frost/Nixon (2008)

Ron Howard’s Frost/Nixon is a sharp historical drama adapted from a theatre play by Peter Morgan. Certain characters and actions have been fictionalized, but the plot is based on the famous 1977 interviews. The highlights of the movie are Frank Langella as former US President Richard Nixon and Michael Sheen as British journalist David Frost. The confrontations between these two ambitious men are truly electrifying. While Nixon struggled to regain his reputation by reminding America of his political achievements, Frost aspired to be recognized as a prominent journalist, he wanted to be admired and respected. Frost/Nixon was nominated for five Academy Awards, but lost most of the awards to Slumdog Millionaire. I’ll never understand how this fantastic movie lost to Slumdog Millionaire

Frost/Nixon – Oscar nominations

2009, Best Achievement in Directing: Ron Howard

Best Achievement in Editing: Mike Hill, Daniel P. Hanley

Best Motion Picture of the Year: Brian Grazer, Ron Howard, Eric Fellner

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role: Frank Langella

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published: Peter Morgan

4. The Godfather, Part III (1990)

The third part of The Godfather trilogy is another interesting movie that failed to win an Academy Award, despite being nominated seven times. The American gangster film received mixed reviews. While Washington Post columnist Bal Hinson wrote “The man who made those two masterpieces is not the man who has given us this failed final chapter… you can’t help but see The Godfather Part III as his headstone”, Sun-Times critic Roger Ebert considerd it a “beautiful-looking film, a beautiful-feeling film, it’s great to see these people again. It’s interesting the way they dig in to the controversy invlving the Catholic Church.”

The Godfather, Part III – Oscar nominations

1991, Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Andy Garcia

Best Art Direction-Set Decoration: Dean Tavoularis, Gary Fettis

Best Cinematography: Gordon Willis

Best Director: Francis Ford Coppola

Best Film Editing: Barry Malkin, Lisa Fruchtman, Walter Murch

Best Music / Original Song: Carmine Coppola (music), John Bettis (lyrics) For the song “Promise Me You’ll Remember”.

Best Picture: Francis Ford Coppola

3. Once Upon A Time in America

One of the last memorable epics to come out of Hollywood is Sergio Leone’s Once Upon a Time in America starring Robert De Niro and James Woods. And I am talking about the original version with a running time of 227 minutes. Once Upon a Time in America was so heavily edited for its U.S. theatrical release, that the Italian film director was left inconsolable. He never made another film after Once Upon a Time in America. Unfortunately, the movie’s most interesting scenes are missing from the short version and the plot is kind of hard to understand. The full-length version of the crime drama explores the lives of a group of Jewish immigrants, chronicling their childhoods and years of glory as gangsters in America.
Why Leone’s masterpiece never received an Oscar, let alone a nomination, remains a mystery.

2. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

The Shawshank Redemption is an inspiring ‘lesson’ on how to unleash our full potential by embracing new challenges, building on our strengths and having the courage to fight back against life’s injustices and miseries. “Get busy living…or get busy dying. That’s god damn right.” Just like Red (Morgan Freeman) said.

Although The Shawshank Redemption depicts the story of two men who become close friends while serving life sentences in a maximum security prison, it is not the typical prison drama. Frank Darabont defied all conventions of the genre (bullying, violence, crime, hopelessness of a life) to reveal new themes: friendship, determination, survival and faith. The cast is headed by Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman and Bob Gunton. Yet, despite all of its greatness and 7 Oscar nominations, The Shawshank Redemption did not succeed in winning one.

The Shawshank Redemption – Oscar nominations

1995,  Best Actor in a Leading Role: Morgan Freeman

Best Cinematography: Roger Deakins

Best Film Editing: Richard Francis-Bruce

Best Music / Original Score: Thomas Newman

Best Picture: Niki Marvin

Best Sound: Robert J. Litt, Elliot Tyson, Michael Herbick, Willie D. Burton

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material from Another Medium: Frank Darabont

1.Psycho (1960)

Here we are at number one: immortal Psycho! No other movie had such a great psychological impact on the audience as Psycho had in its time. Hailed as the father of modern suspense, Hitchcock broke all the conventions and created one of the best and scariest movies ever. However, it failed to win an Academy Award. Psycho influenced many films that came after it ( Silence of the Lambs, Portrait of a Serial Killer etc.) and helped shape the slasher genre. No wonder it tops AFI’s list of 100 most thrilling American movies.

Psycho connects directly with some of our most vivid emotions: terror, despair, fear, and this makes it immortal. The nightmarish movie’s themes of paranoia caused by isolation, voyeurism, the dual nature of the human psyche, the lack of distinction between reality and appearance, the supremacy of death over life and the way in which madness is represented make Psycho stand out as one most disturbing and violent films. But…“We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven’t you?” – Norman Bates

Psycho – Oscar nominations

1961, Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Janet Leigh

Best Art Direction-Set Decoration, Black-and-White: Joseph Hurley, Robert Clatworthy, George Milo

Best Cinematography, Black-and-White: John L. Russell

Best Director: Alfred Hitchcock

Top 10 Internet Sensations Turned into Pointless Books

When something on the Internet gets popular, it can get really gets popular.  Viral videos and meme-oriented websites are everywhere, as millions of people with the similar senses of humor all discover something at the same time and declare it the funniest thing they’ve seen in the past fourteen minutes.

This is all well and good, until old-fashioned capitalism kicks in and some company decides to make a book out of said video or website.  In short, what you once got for free, you are now expected to pay for.

10. Bacon Explosion

bacon-explosion

In 2009, two guys logged onto bbqaddicts.com and posted a “recipe” for sausage wrapped in bacon.  Because it was over 5,000 calories and most people probably get exhausted just from eating it, it became a massive hit.  Facebook groups were formed dedicated to what was little more than meat wrapped in more meat, and the original posters received a six-figure cookbook deal.  Six figures, as in “at least a hundred thousand dollars.”  The only reason this entry is so low on the list is because the book will not actually contain the Bacon Explosion recipe.  Perhaps the creators realized that if you actually need an entire recipe for what amounts to “Take meat.  Wrap in bacon.  Drown in BBQ sauce.  Eat,” then you’re probably not the kind to buy a book anyway.

9. Anonymous (Group)

anonymous

At its heart, Anonymous is a bunch of nameless, faceless, Internet users who love to hack websites and troll people endlessly because it’s just so hilarious.  Occasionally they don V for Vendetta masks, protest oppressive things, and scream angry threats at Scientology offices.  This makes them feel important.  Since the group doesn’t have a charismatic leader to go on the news and let us all know exactly what Anonymous stands for, it’s very hard to write a book about them.  And when somebody did, they evidently didn’t even try; the one Amazon review for Anonymous (group) makes it very clear that the book is nothing more than various Wikipedia articles, sometimes with the citation marks still intact.  Then again, this book might have been written by a member of Anonymous in order to annoy the book world with how bad it is.  Because, to Anonymous, annoying people is hilarious.

8. Denis Leary’s Tweets

Leary

A Twitter account is the easiest thing in the world to follow.  Click that you want to follow it, and then do so.  No harm, no foul, no charge.  Comedian Denis Leary, however, realized that compiling some of his funniest tweets into book form could make him some money, so he did just that.  Never mind that you can easily read the entire book in less than ten minutes while evading bookstore staff; you’re still expected to pay eight bucks for it.  To be fair, some of the money goes to his firefighter’s charity, but if you really wanted to make a difference, donate the entire eight dollars directly to the charity, and then follow his tweets as you normally would.  No need to clutter your bookshelf further.

7. Garfield Minus Garfield

Garfield

The webcomic is genius, and we’re taking nothing away from it; remove Garfield from his own comic strip, and you’re left with Jon: lonely, highly depressed, and talking to himself until the end of days.  But since the comics are still available online (all 110+ pages of it), it makes actually buying the book an exercise in futility.  Jim Davis, the creator of Garfield, tried his hand at a few Minus Garfields, and that would be the bulk of the book’s exclusive content.  Sadly, his attempts aren’t nearly as good or as biting as the original webcomics; this makes sense, as they are written by the guy who does Garfield, after all.

6. Postsecret

PostSecret

The original PostSecret blog allowed people to anonymously confess things along the lines of “I thought of him when I was marrying you” in convenient postcard form.  Fair enough, yet this managed to become a book compilation, allowing the author to profit off of other people whose pain is so intense they can only bring themselves to talk about it in nameless postcard form.  On the other hand, if you buy this book, and find yourself identifying with “my wife thinks I’m having an affair with her sister…wrong sibling,” then you can confess with a real live postcard of somebody else’s very own.

5. Stuff White People Like

white people

White people like lame things!  There, we just saved you ten bucks.  Seriously, that’s the entire gist of this site-turned-book.  Evidently, they enjoy soy lattes, scarves, the World Cup, recycling, dogs, and all other sorts of stupid things that, by extension, non-white people don’t like at all.  To give the author credit, he at least wrote up actual essays about each thing white people like, and put some thought into them.  This is opposed to the usual viral blog approach: one goofy picture and one sentence such as “They like sushi?  Uncooked fish!?  That’s sooooo white!”

4. Oolong the Rabbit

OolongPhoto by Rex Features

And now we start to scrape the bottom of the barrel.  Oolong was a rabbit that was photographed by his owner balancing things on his head.  Sometimes it was a pancake.  Sometimes it was a CD.  Sometimes it was toilet paper.  Each time, it was adorable.  But adorable enough to compile into coffee table book form?  Evidently, because that’s exactly what happened.  A 120-page book of free-on-the-Net pictures does in fact exist; perfect for when you want to glance at a cute bunny with something on his head, but have neither the ability to print the pictures yourself, nor an actual bunny that can balance things just as well.

3. Barack Obama is Your New Bicycle

obama

This is the Obama meme, in a nutshell: white background with gigantic text describing a random act of kindness Barack Obama just did for you.  That’s all.  And that is now a book.  In exchange for money that could be used to buy food or real literature, you can buy 366 random sentences such as “Barack Obama remembered your birthday”, or “Barack Obama tuned your guitar for you.”  Great for those days when you want to read one meaningless sentence involving the President, but just don’t feel like clicking any links.

2. I Can Has Cheezburger

i can has cheezburger

Remember the rabbit from earlier?  Well, multiply that by a billion and you have the cheezburger cats.  More than likely you’re aware of this phenomenon; take funny pictures of cats and add comically misspelled captions to make them seem uneducated.  There are multiple books compiling these cats and they are, in fact, bestsellers.  And don’t you dog people feel superior, as there are books featuring cheezburger dogs saying stupidly misspelled things while riding invisible snowboards or something along that line.  To be fair, there are now millions of funny animal pictures on the website, and some people need an author or two to pick their absolute favorites out for them.

1. (Bleep) My Dad Says

my dad

This is number 1 for one reason and one reason only: it transcended being a pointless book and became a pointless TV show as well.  The original meme was a Twitter feed where a guy recorded a bunch of comically grouchy quotes his Dad may or may not have actually said.  It was a monster hit, and naturally spawned a book version for those who hate when their Internet comedy is free.  But this somehow was not enough, and CBS greenlighted a TV show based on the idea of a lovably grumpy old man saying off-the-wall one-liners.  Despite “lovably grumpy people spewing one-liners” being the central theme of 80% of sitcoms filmed, ever, this one was different because it came from the Internet, and we all know the vast literary muses that pop up there.

Top 10 Controversial Books

Before people were able to access information by way of the Internet, written text was the primary resource for knowledge.  The history of books has been linked to political and economical contingencies, as well as the history of ideas and religion.  In the ancient world, humans developed writings as a desire to create a lasting record.  In the 1450s, The Gutenberg Bible became the first major book printed with a movable type printing press, marking the start of the age of the printed book.  Since that time, a large collection of controversial books have been published.  Many of these texts are known to have been written for the strict purpose of propaganda.  Conspiracy theory researchers have also put together written collections that examine controversial subjects.  This article will examine 10 influential books that have been labeled controversial.

10. The Frost King

helenkeller8

Helen Keller was an American author, political activist, and lecturer.  She was not born blind and deaf, but when Helen was 19 months old she contracted an illness described by doctors as “an acute congestion of the stomach and the brain”, which might have been scarlet fever or meningitis.  The illness left Helen Keller deaf and blind.  In 1887, when Helen was only seven years old, a young woman named Anne Sullivan became her instructor.  When Sullivan first arrived at Keller’s house, she began to teach Helen how to communicate by spelling words into her hand.  The story of how Anne Sullivan helped the isolation imposed by Keller’s near complete lack of language is widely known through the dramatic play The Miracle Worker.

The Controversy

In 1892, at the age of 11, Helen Keller published her first short story titled The Frost King.  The book tells the tale of King Jack Frost and a cask of jewels that are being transported by a collection of fairy servants.  At the time of the stories publication, Helen Keller largely communicated only with Anne Sullivan.  In fact, Sullivan dictated the entire Frost King story for Keller.  After the book gained popularity, it soon became evident that the Frost King was a direct reproduction of Frost Fairies by Margaret Canby.  The revelation was important, with many articles proclaiming that the story was a deliberate fraud by Keller’s handlers.

People all over the world were surprised that Helen Keller was able to produce The Frost King at such a young age.  Keller adamantly denied that she had heard Canby’s story before.  However, Sullivan claimed that Keller read the book through finger spelling with the help Sophia Hopkins.  An investigation into the matter concluded that Helen Keller may have experienced a case of cryptomnesia, in that she had read Canby’s story before, but forgot about it.  Joseph Lash’s book Helen and Teacher states that Anne Sullivan read Helen Keller Frost Fairies the previous fall and that she had adapted her own story out of the original.  Because of the accusations, an in-house trial ensued at the Perkins School to determine whether or not Sullivan had deliberately falsified Keller’s abilities.

At the time, eight separate teachers interrogated the twelve-year-old Helen Keller for two hours.  They returned a verdict of undecided, with some members calling foul play and others not.  Apparently, Keller had a visible nervous breakdown over the incident, and decided to never publish fiction again.  Michael Anagnos, head of the Perkins School for the Blind, never regained his faith in Sullivan or Keller and described them as “a living lie”.  Anagnos claimed to have found inconsistencies in Helen Keller’s letters and was fully suspicious that Anne Sullivan checked her writings before allowing them to be mailed.  In 1903, Mark Twain described the controversy as “owlishly idiotic and grotesque”.

9. Trail of the Octopus

trail of the octopus

On December 21, 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was scheduled to travel from London to New York.  The plane was transporting 243 passengers and 16 crew members.  While flying over Lockerbie, in southern Scotland, the flight experienced a catastrophic explosion which punched a 20-inch (0.51 m)-wide hole on the left side of the fuselage.  The aircraft rapidly disintegrated and crashed into Lockerble killing all passengers onboard and eleven people on the ground.  The subsequent investigation determined that the flight was targeted by a terrorist group.  Certain events pertaining to the case have been riddled with controversy.  Published statements have accused the United States CIA in having foreknowledge of the attack.  On February 24, 2011, Libya’s former justice minister Mustafa Abdul Jalil claimed that Muammar Gaddafi had personally ordered the Lockerbie bombing.

The Controversy

Lester Coleman is a former U.S. DEA agent who co-author the 1993 book Trail of the Octopus, The Untold Story of Pan Am 103.  In the book, it is claimed that a secret drug operation enabled terrorists to evade airport security in the 1988 bombing of Pan American Flight 103.  It has been alleged that a compromised American covert drug smuggling organization allowed Iranian-backed terrorists, led by Ahmed Jibril, to slip a Semtex bomb aboard the plane.  In 1990, before the release of the book, Lester Coleman made national headlines when he exposed a CIA double agent to the press.  As a result of the published photograph, the U.S. government sued Time Magazine for $26 million.  In 1991, as part of a civil lawsuit between Pan American World Airways and the families of Flight 103, Lester Coleman made a sworn statement accusing the Drug Enforcement Administration of allowing PA103 to be bombed.  In response, the federal court imposed a gag order on the defendants and plaintiffs in the case.

In 1993, Trail of the Octopus was first published in the United Kingdom.  The book holds the famous quote, “No one knows what is really going on.  If they ever did, it would make Watergate look like Alice in Wonderland.”  Coleman claims that he sought and was granted political sanctuary in Sweden in order to complete the novel.   When he was under Swedish protection, he provided Pan American World Airways with a civil affidavit which cleared them of full responsibility in the Lockerbie bombing.  In response to the book, the DEA sued Bloomsbury publishing in a London court.  After a settlement, thousands of copies of the text were destroyed.  On September 11, 1997, Lester Coleman stated to a New York Federal court that “…he lied when he claimed that a secret drug sting enabled terrorists to evade airport security in the bombing…”  In a plea agreement, Coleman was sentenced to time served.

As of 2011, Kindle and Nook are the new publishers of Trail of the Octopus, which holds a 2009 United States release.  Over the years, conspiracy theorists have latched onto the fact that there were at least four U.S. intelligence officers on the passenger list, claiming they were targeted for assassination.  A number of security alerts were posted shortly before the bombing, with many people avoiding the deadly flight.  The South African foreign minister Pik Botha and a minor delegation of 22 was supposed to board Pan Am 103, but managed to take the earlier Pan Am 101 flight.  In 2003, Libya took responsibility for the bombing.  In a remarkable occurrence, the Libyan government compensated each family of the victims US$8 million.  As a result of this, the UN agreed to cancel sanctions that had been imposed four years earlier.  A collection of U.S. trade restrictions were also lifted due to the settlement.

8. English as She Is Spoke

english as she is spoke

When English as She Is Spoke was published in 1883 it raised controversy, but it was due to the funny content and didn’t involve serious issues.  In the middle of the 19thcentury, a Portuguese author named Jose da Fonseca became notable for writing phrase books that were used to help travelers and people interesting in learning multiple languages.  His most famous publication was a successful Portuguese-French phrase book, which was adapted by a man named Pedro Carolino.  After the popularity of the initial book, Carolino decided to write his own Portuguese to English conversational guide.  However, he placed the more popular Jose da Fonseca’s name as the author without his knowledge.  Problems began to arise when it was realized that Pedro Carolino didn’t speak English.

The Controversy

English as She Is Spoke is regarded as one of the funniest books written in the 19th century and a classic source of unintentional humor, due to the fact that the given English translations in the book are generally completely incoherent and wrong.  It is widely believed that Pedro Carolino used a French-English dictionary to translate the earlier Portuguese-French phrase book that was written by José da Fonseca.  The attempt failed to produce coherent English speech.  It seems that the dictionary-aided literal use of the words caused many expressions to be translated wildly inappropriately.  For example, the Portuguese phrase chover a cântaros is translated as raining in jars, when the English translation should be “raining buckets.”

Here are some more notable examples of phrases used in the book.  The walls have hearsay, should be “the walls have ears.”  He go to four feet, should be “he is crawling.”  Is sure the road, should be “is the road safe.”  That pond it seems me many multiplied of fishes.  Let us amuse rather to the fishing.  The English translation should have been, “This pond seems like it’s full of fish.  Let’s have some fun fishing.”  Mark Twain said of English as She Is Spoke, “Nobody can add to the absurdity of this book, nobody can imitate it successfully, and nobody can hope to produce its fellow.  It is perfect.”

7. Passport to Magonia: From Folklore to Flying Saucers

passport

Jacques Vallée is a French-born venture capitalist, computer scientist, author, ufologist and former astronomer.  For over 50 years, he has been a predominant authority on extraterrestrial life.  In Steven Spielberg film Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Vallée served as the model for the French character Lacombe.  He is a respected researcher that has made significant contributions to the field of scientific exploration.  Vallée is notable for co-developing the first computerized mapping of Mars and for his work as the principal investigator at SRI International in creating ARPANET, a precursor to the modern Internet.  He served on the National Advisory Committee at the University of Michigan, College of Engineering, and was involved in early work on artificial intelligence.  Vallée has authored four books on high technology and is a venture capitalist.  He has invested in over 60 start-up companies, 18 of which have become traded on public markets.

One of these companies is Accuray Systems (Nasdaq:ARAY), which is a medical device company developing surgical robots.  Along with his mentor, astronomer J. Allen Hynek, Vallée has carefully studied the phenomenon of UFOs for many years and his research has taken him to all areas of the world.  Initially, Jacques Vallée published works supporting the extraterrestrial hypothesis (ETH).  ETH states that some unidentified flying objects (UFOs) are best explained as being extraterrestrial life or non-human aliens from other planets occupying physical spacecraft visiting Earth.  However, by 1969, Vallée’s conclusions had changed, and he publicly announced that the ETH was too narrow and ignored too much data.  In his next novel, Passport to Magonia: From Folklore to Flying Saucers, Vallée explored a different angle on UFO encounters.

The Controversy

In Passport to Magonia, Vallée examines the commonalities between UFOs, cults, religious movements, demons, angels, ghosts, cryptid sightings, and psychic phenomena.  In the text, he suggests the interdimensional visitation hypothesis.  The theory states that unidentified flying objects (UFOs) and related events involve visitations from other “realities” or “dimensions” that coexist separately alongside our own.  It holds that UFOs are a modern manifestation of a phenomenon that has occurred throughout recorded human history, which in prior ages was ascribed to mythological or supernatural creatures.  The interdimensional visitation hypothesis alleges that extraterrestrials could be living beyond space-time, and thus could coexist with humans, yet remain undetected.  Vallée’s opposition to the popular ETH hypothesis was not well received by prominent U.S. ufologists, hence he is viewed as something of an outcast.

Given Jacques Vallée’s scientific history and documented intellect, many have lent prominence to his theories.  Let’s examine his ideas.  Claims are made that the distance between stars makes interstellar travel impractical without an antigravity or faster-than-light travel hypothesis.  Vallée points out that unexplained close encounters are far more numerous than required for any physical survey of the earth.  The humanoid body structure of the alleged “aliens” is not likely to have originated on another planet and is not biologically adapted to space travel.  The apparent ability of UFOs to manipulate space and time suggests radically different and richer alternatives.  Vallée has contributed to the investigation of the Miracle at Fatima and Marian apparitions.  His work has been used to support the Fatima UFO Hypothesis.

One advantage of IDH proffered by Hilary Evans is its ability to explain the apparent ability of UFOs to appear and disappear from sight and radar, explained as the UFO enters and leaves our dimension.  Moreover, Evans argues that other dimensions might be slightly more advanced than ours, explaining the UFOs’ tendency to represent near future technologies.  In a conversation with Steven Spielberg, Vallée suggested that he make the phenomenon in Close Encounters of the Third Kind, real, physical, but not ET.  Vallée also proposes that a secondary aspect of the UFO phenomenon involves human manipulation by humans.  He advocates a stronger and more serious involvement of science in the UFO research and debate, in order to let people understand the real aspects of multidimensional travel.

6. Brahmastra

ramayana_3

The ancient world has produced some of the most controversial books in existence, including religious text across multiple faiths.  This article will examine one aspect of Sanskrit literature.  Sanskrit is an Indo-Aryan dialect and the primary liturgical language of Hinduism, Jainism and Buddhism.  Sanskrit literature encompasses a rich tradition of poetry and drama as well as scientific, technical, philosophical and Hindu religious texts.  A large collection of researchers have devoted their lives to understanding ancient Sanskrit literature.  A great example of Sanskrit is The Puranas, which is a genre of important Hindu, Jain and Buddhist religious texts, consisting of narratives on the history of the universe from creation to destruction, genealogies of kings, heroes, sages, and demigods.  In some of these texts, a weapon is mentioned that has sparked interest and controversy.

The Controversy

In ancient Sanskrit writings, a Brahmastra is a weapon created by Brahma, who is the Hindu God of creation.  Brahmastra is considered the deadliest weapon of all and when it is discharged there is neither a counter attack nor a defense that may stop it.  The Brahmastra never misses and must be used with very specific intent, as the target will face complete annihilation.  According to Sanskrit writings, the Brahmastra is invoked by a key phrase that is bestowed upon the user when given the weapon.  It causes severe environmental damage.  The land where the Brahmastra is used becomes barren for eons and all life in and around that area ceases to exist.

Upon release of the weapon, women and men become infertile.  The area experiences a severe decrease in rainfall and the land develops cracks like in a drought.  The survivors lose their nails and hair, and their food becomes unfit for eating.  For several subsequent years, the Sun, the stars and the sky remain shrouded with clouds and produce bad weather.  It doesn’t take an expert to notice that the weapon holds similar characteristics to modern day nuclear weapons.  The Brahmastra is mentioned in multiple Sanskrit scriptures, often times acting as a deterrent simply with the threat of use.  In the Ramayana, a Brahmastra is used by Rama as the “final blow” against Rakshasa Ravana during their battle in Lanka.  It is said that the collision between two Brahmastras will destroy the universe.

5. The Report from Iron Mountain

report from iron mountain

In 1967, the war in Vietnam was escalating and a large amount of civil unrest was spreading in major U.S. cities.  On October 16, a bizarre book appeared titled The Report from Iron Mountain: On the Possibility and Desirability of Peace.  It was published by Dial Press, which is a division of Simon & Schuster.  The book claims to be an authentic U.S. government report compiled by secret officials.  The introduction to the book was written by a man named Leonard C. Lewin, who at the time was a New York freelance writer.  In the opening of the book, Lewin explains that the report was compiled by 15 experts known as the Special Study Group (SSG).

According to the text, the SSG was a collection of men put together by the U.S. government.  The group first met in 1963 at a secret underground nuclear hideout called Iron Mountain.  The book claims that the Special Study Group held periodic meetings during the middle of the 1960s to discuss the problems that would confront the United States if it entered into an era of permanent peace.  The mystery of who wrote the report was revealed in 1972, when the Harvard educated Leonard C. Lewin declared in a New York Times article that he had invented it as a hoax.

The Controversy

The Report from Iron Mountain is put together to look like an actual top secret document.  It includes language that is full of think-tank jargon.  In the text the SSG comes to the conclusion that peace “would almost certainly not be in the best interest of a stable society.”  War, they argued, was simply too important to the world’s economy, and therefore necessary for the United States to continue in a state of war indefinitely.  The report claims that a member of the panel, John Doe, who is a professor from a college in the Midwest, decided to release the report to the public.  In the book, the group theorized that world governments would not exist without war and that conflict serves as a vital function to divert collective aggression.  The SSG also recommend blood games and suggest that the government should create alternative foes that would scare the public, such as reports of aliens and out-of-control pollution.

Another proposal by the SSG is the reinstitution of slavery.  In detail, the report identifies reasons why war is necessary.  Far from being used to only settle disputes between nation-states, the book claims that war is used to control unemployment, reduce the population, drive scientific and artistic development, provide legitimacy and growth to the government, and to control crime, gangs, and vagrancy by providing a publicly acceptable outlet for society’s undesirables.  The book suggests that we must find substitutes for all of war’s functions in order to transition into an era of peace and prevent society’s collapse.  It specifically mentions pumping pollution into the environment to create a disaster society that we can all unite over.  The report proposes that the government create fake UFO incidents.

Report from Iron Mountain contains a seemingly serious discussion on the necessity of a eugenics program.  The book suggests that without war, human reproduction would have to be strictly controlled, perhaps through artificial insemination administered by the government.  Upon release of the document, it caused panic among many government officials.  President Lyndon B. Johnson supposedly “hit the roof” when he learned of it.  Cables were sent to U.S. embassies throughout the world instructing them to play down public discussion and to emphasize that it had nothing at all to do with official U.S. policy.  Today, the book is believed to be a hoax authored by one man, Leonard Lewin.  In 1996, the novel was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the Most Successful Literary Hoax.  Upon its release, the book was a New York Times bestseller and it has been translated into fifteen languages.  Some people continue to believe that the report is a leaked U.S. document.

4. Germany Must Perish!

germany must perish

During World War II, many pieces of political propaganda were released to the general public.  As Hitler took control of Germany, Nazi propaganda was heavily used in schools and businesses.  In Russia, England, America, and many other world locations, anti-German text was widely distributed.  During the war, an American Jewish businessman named Theodore Kaufman began to publish pamphlets under the auspices of the American Federation of Peace.  In 1939, Kaufman was determined to prevent American involvement in the war.

One pamphlet, titled Passive Purchase, advocated for the establishment of a two-week period during which Americans would curtail their spending in order to demonstrate public opposition to American intervention in the war.  Another of Kaufman’s pamphlets stated, “A possible plea to Congress. … Have Us All Sterilized! … If You Plan On Sending Us to A Foreign War … Spare Us Any Possibility Of Ever Bringing Children Into This World.”  However, as World War II intensified, Theodore Kaufman turned his attention to the destruction of the German people, publishing one of the most well known books of the war era, Germany Must Perish!

The Controversy

Germany Must Perish is a 104-page book written and self-published by Theodore Kaufman in 1941.  The text advocates for the genocide of the German population and the territorial dismemberment of the country.  Specifically, it mentions the forced mass-sterilization of all men under 65 and women under 45. In the text, Kaufman promotes the distribution of German lands, which he claims would solve a great deal of humanity’s problems.  During the war, the book had a minimal impact in the United States, but it achieved notoriety in Nazi Germany, where it was widely used as evidence of an international Jewish plan to destroy the German people.  On July 24, 1941, the Nazi Party’s newspaper, Volkischer Beobachter, published a front-page article on the book titled, The Product of Criminal Jewish Sadism: Roosevelt Demands the Sterilization of the German People.

The article claimed that Theodore Kaufman had a direct connection with President Roosevelt and U.S. policy, which was a gross fabrication.  At the time, the German leadership was engaged in a campaign to rally popular support for the invasion of the Soviet Union.  Kaufman’s ideas became a large focus of the campaign.  For this reason, many Germans, even today, know who Theodore Kaufman is, while the majority of people are being introduced to him for the first time.  Germany Must Perish was specifically cited as an excuse to round up the Jews of Hanover.  On September 1, 1941, the Nazis required German Jews to wear a yellow badge on their clothing, they published a flyer explaining to the German people that those individuals wearing the star were conspiring to implement Kaufman’s plan for the destruction of Germany.

3. Poem of the Man God

poem of the man god

In 1897, Maria Valtorta was born in Caserta, in the Campania region of Italy.  On March 17, 1920, at the age of 23, Maria was attacked by a delinquent youth while on the street with her family.  She was hit with an iron bar for no apparent reason and was confined to a bed for three months.  At the age of 27, Maria’s family settled in the town of Viareggio, on the coast of Tuscany.  She was able to move around for over a decade after being assaulted, but complications from the injury eventually confined Valtorta to a bed for the last 28 years of her life.  During the height of World War II, on the morning of Good Friday April 23, 1943, Maria Valtorta reported a sudden voice speaking to her and asking her to write.

Thereafter, Maria Valtorta wrote almost every day until 1947 and intermittently in the following years until 1951. She would use a fountain pen and write in multiple notebooks.  It has been reported that Maria did not prepare outlines.  She did not know what she would write from one day to another and did not reread to correct.  One of her declarations is stated, “I can affirm that I have had no human source to be able to know what I write, and what, even while writing, I often do not understand.”  From 1943 to 1951, Valtorta produced over 15,000 handwritten pages in 122 notebooks.  These pages became the basis of her major work, the Poem of the Man God, and constitute about two thirds of her literary publications.

The Controversy

The Poem of the Man God gives a detailed account of the life of Jesus from his birth to crucifixion.  In many instances, the text is more elaborate than the Holy Gospels.  The book describes the many journeys of Jesus and his conversations with people such as the apostles.  Valtorta’s handwritten pages had no overwrites, corrections or revisions of any kind.  Her writings were not in sequence, some of the last chapters of the Poem of the Man God were written before the early chapters, yet the text flows smoothly between them.  Most of the episodes she wrote about have a uniform format and structure.  Maria first describes a scene, often with picturesque details of the background, the trees, the mountains and the weather conditions on that day.  Her writings display a surprising knowledge of the Holy Land.

A geologist, Vittorio Tredici, stated that Valtorta’s detailed account of the topographic, geological and mineralogical aspects of Palestine seems unexplainable.  The book names 255 specific locations in Palestine, but 52 have no biblical reference at all.  Since publication, the existence of some of these places has been confirmed using ancient documents.  In some cases, such as the Passion, Maria’s descriptions are very detailed and graphic.  Dr. Nicholas Pende expressed his surprise at the level of detail in which Valtorta depicted Christ’s spasms in Crucifixion, saying that she described “a phenomenon which only a few informed physicians would know how to explain, and she does it in an authentic medical style.”  The Poem of the Man God clears up some biblical mysteries.  The Trial of Jesus by Caiphas is discussed in all Gospels.  However, the fact that some put the event at night, while others refer to it as happening in the day has at times been viewed as a problem.

In Valtorta’s version, there are two trials, one at night and the other after daybreak.  The narrative of the Poem of the Man God includes a number of specific observations on the positions of stars and the moon.  In 1992, Purdue University physicist Lonnie VanZandt analyzed the text to estimate a date for the astronomical event described and came to the startling conclusion that it could have only occurred in AD33, which supports the book’s timeline.  In 1959, the text was placed on the Index of Forbidden Books by the Holy Office.  However, since that time the Catholic Church has been neutral on the subject.  They do not endorse the Poem of the Man God or ban it.  The six children who have reported visions of the Virgin Mary in Medjugorje have strongly supported the authenticity of the book.  It remains a mysterious achievement, as Maria Valtorta was able to produce a text similar to the Holy Bible. Chiseled on Maria’s tombstone are the words: “DIVINARUM RERUM SCRIPTRIX” (Writer of Divine Things).

2. Malleus Maleficarum

the-malleus-maleficarum

In the 12th century, the Inquisition was started by the Roman Catholic Church.  During this time, several sectors within the justice system of the Catholic Church enforced a strict set of laws.  The Inquisition was characterized by the use of torture and executions to prevent religious heresy.  By the start of the 16th century, the Catholic Church had reached a dominant position as religious authority in western and central Europe.  Many policies were adopted during this time in history, but one of the most controversial is a set of laws regarding witches.

Between the 15th and 18th centuries, a series of witch hunts were carried out across Early Modern Europe, and to some extent in the European colonies of North America.  People believed that malevolent satanic witches were operating as an organized threat to the Catholic Church.  As one would expect, the idea that witches were a harmful and dangerous aspect to society was published in multiple novels and pamphlets.  The most notorious being the 1487 book Malleus Maleficarum.

The Controversy

People accused of witchcraft were portrayed as being worshippers of the Devil, who engaged in such acts as malevolent sorcery, and orgies at meetings known as Witches’ Sabbaths.  Many people were subsequently accused of being witches, and put on trial for their crime.  Over the entire duration of the phenomenon, an estimated total of 40,000 to 60,000 people were executed.  The psychological impact was enormous, with women having to act appropriately or fear accusations of witchcraft.  In 1487, an Inquisitor of the Catholic Church named Heinrich Kramer wrote Malleus Maleficarum.  The purpose of the text was to systematically refute arguments claiming that witchcraft does not exist, discredit those who expressed skepticism about its reality, to claim that witches were more often women than men, and to educate magistrates on the procedures to find and convict witches.

A connection between this book and the Catholic Church has raised controversy.  Kramer claimed to gain endorsement from the top theologians of the Inquision, but later the group condemned the book as unethical.  A German priest named Jacob Sprenger is attributed as an author of Malleus Maleficarum.  Historians have suggested that Kramer used Sprenger’s name without his consent to gain prominence for the work.  The preface of the book also includes endorsements from the University of Cologne’s Faculty of Theology.  Like everything else surrounding this text, claims have been made that the Catholic endorsements were a forgery by Heinrich Kramer.  The book became the law abiding handbook for secular courts throughout Renaissance Europe.  Section three describes how to prosecute a witch.

Between the years 1487 and 1520, the text was published thirteen times.  It was again published between the years of 1574 to 1669 a total of sixteen times.  Regardless of the authenticity and controversy surrounding the book’s Catholic endorsements, which appear at the beginning of the novel, their presence was never removed and strongly contributed to the popularity of the text.  Persecution of witches became more constant and brutal following the publication of the Malleus, with witchcraft being accepted as a real and dangerous phenomenon.  The text asserts that three elements are necessary for witchcraft, the evil-intentioned witch, the help of the Devil, and the Permission of God.

The book is full of erroneous statements, including the implication that all women who don’t cry during their trial were witches.  In modern times the book has been condemned as a work of hatred towards women, as it specifically mentions individual characteristics of female witches, including all ladies with a strong personality.  The very title of the Malleus Maleficarum is feminine, alluding to the idea that it was women who were the villains.  Otherwise, it would be the Malleus Maleficorum, which is the masculine form of the Latin noun for witch.  The book accuses witches of infanticide, cannibalism, casting evil spells to harm their enemies, and having the power to steal men’s penises.  It gives detailed accounts of witches committing these crimes.  How the text became so popular and accepted as fact remains a bit of a mystery.

1. Sexual Behavior in the Human Male

kinsey

Alfred Kinsey was an American biologist who in 1947 founded the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction.  Before launching one of the largest studies on sexual reproduction in United States history, Kinsey was a professor of entomology and zoology.  He wrote two of the most controversial books of the 20th century, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948) and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953).  In the publications, Kinsey analyzes data on the frequency with which people participate in various types of sexual activity and looks at how factors such as age, social-economic status and religious adherence influence sexual behavior.  Kinsey makes many comparisons between female and male sexual activities.

In the 1940s, the book astounded the general public and was immediately controversial.  It caused shock and outrage, both because it challenged the conventional belief about sexuality and because the book discussed subjects that had previously been taboo.  Alfred Kinsey is generally regarded as the father of sexology, which is the systematic, scientific study of human sexuality.  His work has profoundly influenced social and cultural values in the United States and many other countries.  However, after examining his subject data, people have began to wonder how Alfred Kinsey was able to obtain the information.

The Controversy

Alfred Kinsey’s sex research went far beyond interviews with participants.  It included direct observation and sexual activity.  He engaged in a large amount of direct homosexual behavior in his research.  Kinsey justified this as being necessary to gain the confidence of his subjects.  He encouraged his staff to do likewise, and to experiment with a wide range of sexual acts.  Kinsey argued that the experience would help his staff understand the participant responses.  As part of his research, Alfred Kinsey set up an area in his attic to privately film sexual acts.  In response to this, author James H. Jones and British psychiatrist Theodore Dalrymple, amongst others, have speculated that Kinsey was driven by his own sexual needs.

After Alfred Kinsey’s untimely death in 1956, the real controversy started to emerge regarding data in tables 30 to 34 of the male volume.  In the text, Kinsey calculated numbers surrounding pre-adolescent orgasms.  He reported observations of orgasms in over three-hundred children between the ages of five months and fourteen years.  The information was said to have come from childhood memories or from parent and teacher observations.  Kinsey also said that he interviewed nine men who had previous sexual experiences with kids.  These men described the children’s responses and reactions to Kinsey.  These facts have raised immediate concerns regarding Alfred Kinsey’s overall approach to research.

The information included in the male volume could not have been obtained without collaboration from a child molester.  The Kinsey Institute denies the charge, claiming that Alfred used information from one participant and presented it as being from various individuals.  Additionally, people have concerns over the sample population that was selected by Alfred Kinsey.  In experimentation, the collection of a sample is a simple statistical procedure.  However, it seems that Kinsey used a disproportionate number of prisoners, prostitutes, and especially gay men.  He didn’t use any black people in the work.  All of this evidence has given rise to an anti-Kinsey movement around the world, which was started in 1981 by Judith Reisman.

Top 10 Patriotic Movies

Looking for some movies to watch this Independence Day that will make you fiercely proud to be an American? Well look no further, because these films will have you bursting with so much patriotism that you’ll barely have room for any of that all-American barbequed meat.

10. The Patriot

The-Patriot

This one could have clawed its way onto this list based on its name alone. But The Patriot’s patriotic merit goes a lot deeper than the title: Mel Gibson plays his usual character, the Formerly Peace-loving Family Man Driven to Revenge by Murder of Family Members, but in this case, the family-member murder occurs during the American Revolution. Of course, Mel is inspired to take up arms against his oppressors. Australian actors and historical inaccuracy aside, this movie will have you seized with old-fashioned patriotic fervor. Remember to calm yourself down before you talk to any British friends afterward.

9. Top Gun

Top Gun

There category of ‘patriotic military movies’ obviously contains a lot of completion: pretty much any movie involving both Americans and Nazis is a surefire bet for a pro-USA spin. But if you’re looking for something a bit more cheery than Saving Private Ryan for your Fourth of July celebration, you can’t go past Top Gun. While it has its downer moments, this military-themed movie is less about the horrors of war and more about lots of really awesome planes flying around doing cool stuff. The flying scenes are so good, even the Chinese couldn’t help but steal a bit of footage for one of their Air Force-related news broadcasts earlier this year.

8. Iron Man

Iron Man

Unfortunately, Captain America doesn’t come out in time for Independence Day 2011, so you’ll have to look elsewhere for an uber-patriotic superhero movie. You could watch the old version of Captain America that came out in 1990, in which our hero must rescue the President before an Italian Nazi can implant a mind-control device in his brain and use him as a puppet. Unfortunately, that movie kind of sucks, so instead you might want to go for Iron Man, in which all-American Tony Stark flies around killing terrorists and bad guys all over the world. Surely Tony Stark is the epitome of the American Dream – whether that’s a good thing or not is up to you to decide.

7. Rambo III

The Rambo franchise might have started off as a statement about veterans traumatized by the Vietnam War, but by Rambo III, it’s about a world in which a single American can show up in Afghanistan and immediately have the locals fighting to the death by his side. Rambo is also gifted with America-based superpowers: he can bring down helicopters with a bow and arrow, and easily outruns large fiery explosions. Sure it’s not realistic, but it’s an escape. And if fantasy Afghanistan ain’t your thing, you can always go for Sylvester Stallone’s other ode to America, Rocky IV, in which Rocky beats up a Communist while dressed in stars-and-stripes-patterned shorts.

6. Team America: World Police

Team America

Team America, about an elite group of Americans that fights terrorism around the world, is definitely not for everyone: it features, among other things, a puppet love scene that has scarred many viewers for life. But fans of its brand of humor will enjoy a movie that spares no aspect of American society, and yet also manages to make you kind of fond of it all, too. Sure, it’s a spoof on America’s arrogance and dumb action movies, but it also managed to give modern American patriotism an entirely new official anthem and a catchy new slogan: ‘America, F**k Yeah!’

5. Red Dawn

Red Dawn

A plucky team of small-town teenagers gang up to fight against an unlikely invasion of small-town America by the Soviet Union and its allies, using only their wits, bravery and outdoorsman skills. Sure, it’s easy to make fun of Red Dawn, especially the scene where Harry Dean Stanton starts shouting “Avenge me, son! Avenge me!” for no particular reason. But the movie’s also kind of touching, and its patriotic power is undeniable. Red Dawn is currently being remade for the modern era, with America’s new attackers consisting of… North Korea. How can a small country that barely manages to feed its own population get all the way to America and launch an invasion, you ask? Well, a better question is this: how many ticket sales will be lost if angry North Koreans refuse to see the film? Exactly.

4. 300

300

But this movie isn’t even set in America, you cry! Sure, but in this adaptation of Frank Miller’s comic, ancient Sparta is pretty much a thinly veiled US of A. Both the comic and the film use the fight of the 300 Spartans against the forces of the Persian Empire to showcase modern America values like bravery, liberty, friendship, equality, and impressively sculpted abs. Sure, the real Spartans might have had some beliefs and practices that we Americans really wouldn’t have liked, but it’s better if you forget all that and just sit back and enjoy the fancy fighting.

3. Air Force One

air force one

How could we leave out a movie that features a tough-talking, gun-toting president taking down a bunch of terrorists? Harrison Ford plays an American president whose plane is hijacked by evil Soviets. Being both the president and Harrison Ford, he knows that he has no choice but to hunt them all down himself. For reality to live up to this, President Obama would have had to fly into Pakistan himself and personally punch Osama bin Laden to death, perhaps while uttering some sort of badass line like “Jihad this.”

2. Letters from Iwo Jima

Letters From iwo Jima

At first, this might seem like an odd movie to include: the Clint Eastwood-directed film about Japanese troops in World War II isn’t just in another language; it’s from the viewpoint of a country that was at war with America. Probably only Clint Eastwood, who had built up his patriotic credit over a lifetime of appearing in movies like Heartbreak Ridge, could have got away with making this one. And that’s the funny part, because if you watch the movie carefully, you’ll see that in many ways it’s really about America. The main characters are all exposed to American values, and by the end of the movie they’ve come to realize that these values are in fact superior to those of warlike Imperial Japan. And Mr. Eastwood manages to do all this without getting insulting or preachy.  Team it up with its companion film, Flags of Our Fathers, for a double dose of nostalgic patriotism.

1. Independence Day

independence_day

It’s highly unlikely that any movie will ever be able to beat the scene in which a Marine played by Will Smith punches out an invading alien life form with the words “Welcome to EARTH.” Sure, Independence Day is incredibly silly and full of plot holes, from Mac-compatible alien computer viruses to Jeff Goldblum driving from New York to Washington DC in under six hours during a full-scale traffic apocalypse. But look past all that, and you’ll find a story of Americans putting aside their differences in order to unite and lead the world in defeating a great evil. And this is something that almost every American still wants to believe that we can do.