Top 10 Great Movies That Didn’t Win An Oscar

As quickly as 2010 came and went, here we find ourselves in the middle of another exciting awards season. The Golden Globes have been awarded and the 83^rd Oscar ceremony is next.

When it comes to Hollywood’s highest honors, the Academy’s omissions often provoke more outcry and buzz than the actual winners. The Academy Awards are quite controversial among many film experts and fans. Although the Academy has honored many of the cinema’s masterpieces, numerous other great movies have been entirely overlooked. It seems they weren’t even worth the nomination. Other notable films were nominated, but didn’t win a single Oscar. It’s the case of Double Indemnity (a classic film noir masterpiece with seven nominations!!!) Pretty Woman, Being John Malkovich, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Munich, It’s A Wonderful Life,  Singin’ in The Rain, Mangnolia, The Magnificent Ambersons and many more.

10. Poltergeist (1982)

The first Poltergeist movie was released during the summer 1982. The very successful thriller of the 80s ranks 84th on AFI’s 100 Years…100 Thrills list. The 1986 and 1988 sequels didn’t quite measure up to the original.
Special effects can often make or break a film. It’s for sure not the case of Poltergeist (1982). Many consider that producer Steven Spielberg and director Tobe Hooper are the real stars of Poltergeist, both of them famous for creating awesome special effects. Poltergeist won in 1983 the BAFTA Film Award for Best Special Visual Effects, but failed to win the Oscar. It remains a visually striking movie that harmonically combines effective special effects with a human touch, something most horror movies lack these days.

Poltergeist – Oscar nominations

1983, Best Effects, Sound Effects Editing: Stephen Hunter Flick, Richard L. Anderson

Best Effects, Visual Effects: Richard Edlund, Michael Wood, Bruce Nicholson

Best Music, Original Score: Jerry Goldsmith

9. Ghostbusters (1984)

The 1984 Ghostbusters is one of those few great films “where the original, fragile comic vision has survived a multimillion-dollar production”, said Roger Ebert. The American fantasty-comedy made close to $300 millions in the United States, the equivalent of nowadays $596,878,264 and AFI ranked it #28 on the „ 100 Greates Comedies of all Time” list.

The plot of the movie is imaginative and very well written, the special effects were spectacular for it’s time and the cast was well put together, for both leading and supporting roles. Bill Murray portrayed Dr. Peter Venkman, Dan Aykroyd – Dr. Raymond Stantz, Sigourney Weaver – Dana Barrett and Harold Ramis – Dr. Egon Spengler.

Times columnist Caitlin Moran sparked quite a bit of controversy with her article titled “Sorry Star Wars fans, but Ghostbusters is the best film ever made!” I didn’t read such a funny, yet thought provoking article for a very long time. Great stuff, well worth reading. What do you think? Is she right?

Ghostbusters – Oscar nominations

1985,  Best Effects / Visual Effects: Richard Edlund, John Bruno, Mark Vargo, Chuck Gaspar

Best Music / Original Song: Ray Parker Jr.

8. Vertigo (1958)

Great story with original plot twists, obsessive passions, astonishingly visceral music, spine-tingling suspense, mystery…in one word: Vertigo! Vertigo’s screenplay is credited to Samuel Taylor and Alec Coppel. It  was an adaption of P. Boileau’s and T. Narcejac’s novel, D’Entre les Morts (Between Deaths / The Living and the Dead).

Although Hitchcock’s Vertigo was nominated for only two Oscars, and won none, it is widely regarded as a masterpiece. Hitchcock perfectly combined multiple levels to create a complex movie. On a literal level, Vertigo tells the  suspense-filled mystery story of a man manipulated into acting as an accomplice in a crime. On the other hand, the film’s psychological level reveals a man’s dark and twisted psyche full of fears and laden with guilt. The story follows Scottie’s obsessive fantasies and the desire to end his existential vertigo, “desperately searching for an object on which to concentrate its repressed energy”. (Magill’s Survey of Cinema) The movie explores the dangerous link between desire and death, between falling in love and falling. Finally, at a deeper and metaphorical level, Vertigo retells the ancient legend of Orpheus and Eurydice. John “Scottie” Ferguson, just like Orpheus, travels into the terrifying underworld to reclaim his lost love. These multiple levels blur the fine line between subjectivity and objectivity.

Vertigo – Oscar nominations

1959, Best Art Direction-Set Decoration / Black-and-White or Color: Hal Pereira, Henry Bumstead, Sam Comer, Frank R. McKelvy

Best Sound: George Dutton

7. Basic Instinct (1992)

Written by Joe Eszterhas and directed by Paul Verhoeven, Basic Instinct features Michael Douglas, Sharon Stone, Jeanne Tripplehorn and George Dzundza. The film generated major controversy  due to its steamy love scenes, overt sexuality and intense acts of violence.

A diabolical killer, a brutal murder, a police detective who can’t resist the temptation of danger, and a mysterious femme fatale who promises carnal pleasures, but delivers death. What more can we ask for? Basic Instinct was immensely successful upon release. It was one of the highest grossing movies of that year.

While Frank J. Urioste got nominated for Best Film Editing and Jerry Goldsmith  for Best Music, Sharone Stone and Paul Verhoeven were left out. Still can’t believe that Basic Instinct didn’t win a single Oscar.

Basic Instinct – Oscar nominations

1993, Best Film Editing: Frank J. Urioste

Best Music / Original Score: Jerry Goldsmith

6. Fatal Attraction (1987)

Can you trust that 26 directors rejected Fatal Attraction because they considered it uncommercial? One thing is for sure: Fatal Attraction was not ignored upon its release in 1987. It was the year’s most intensely debated movie, grossing over $320 million at the box office. Fatal Attraction was such a massive hit because it gave the audience something different. As Tom Hanks stated in Sleepless in Seattle: “Fatal Attraction scared the shit out of every man in America.” All the actors’ performances were outstanding. AFI ranked Glenn Close for portaying Alex Forrest #7 on its “100 Years…100 Heroes and Villains” list.
Although popular with six nominations, Fatal Attraction didn’t win any Academy Awards.

Fatal Attraction – Oscar nomincations

1988, Best Actress in a Leading Role: Glenn Close

Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Anne Archer

Best Director: Adrian Lyne

Best Film Editing: Michael Kahn, Peter E. Berger

Best Picture: Stanley R. Jaffe, Sherry Lansing

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material from Another Medium: James Dearden

5. Frost/Nixon (2008)

Ron Howard’s Frost/Nixon is a sharp historical drama adapted from a theatre play by Peter Morgan. Certain characters and actions have been fictionalized, but the plot is based on the famous 1977 interviews. The highlights of the movie are Frank Langella as former US President Richard Nixon and Michael Sheen as British journalist David Frost. The confrontations between these two ambitious men are truly electrifying. While Nixon struggled to regain his reputation by reminding America of his political achievements, Frost aspired to be recognized as a prominent journalist, he wanted to be admired and respected. Frost/Nixon was nominated for five Academy Awards, but lost most of the awards to Slumdog Millionaire. I’ll never understand how this fantastic movie lost to Slumdog Millionaire…

Frost/Nixon – Oscar nominations

2009, Best Achievement in Directing: Ron Howard

Best Achievement in Editing: Mike Hill, Daniel P. Hanley

Best Motion Picture of the Year: Brian Grazer, Ron Howard, Eric Fellner

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role: Frank Langella

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published: Peter Morgan

4. The Godfather, Part III (1990)

The third part of The Godfather trilogy is another interesting movie that failed to win an Academy Award, despite being nominated seven times. The American gangster film received mixed reviews. While Washington Post columnist Bal Hinson wrote “The man who made those two masterpieces is not the man who has given us this failed final chapter… you can’t help but see The Godfather Part III as his headstone”, Sun-Times critic Roger Ebert considerd it a “beautiful-looking film, a beautiful-feeling film, it’s great to see these people again. It’s interesting the way they dig in to the controversy invlving the Catholic Church.”

The Godfather, Part III – Oscar nominations

1991, Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Andy Garcia

Best Art Direction-Set Decoration: Dean Tavoularis, Gary Fettis

Best Cinematography: Gordon Willis

Best Director: Francis Ford Coppola

Best Film Editing: Barry Malkin, Lisa Fruchtman, Walter Murch

Best Music / Original Song: Carmine Coppola (music), John Bettis (lyrics) For the song “Promise Me You’ll Remember”.

Best Picture: Francis Ford Coppola

3. Once Upon A Time in America

One of the last memorable epics to come out of Hollywood is Sergio Leone’s Once Upon a Time in America starring Robert De Niro and James Woods. And I am talking about the original version with a running time of 227 minutes. Once Upon a Time in America was so heavily edited for its U.S. theatrical release, that the Italian film director was left inconsolable. He never made another film after Once Upon a Time in America. Unfortunately, the movie’s most interesting scenes are missing from the short version and the plot is kind of hard to understand. The full-length version of the crime drama explores the lives of a group of Jewish immigrants, chronicling their childhoods and years of glory as gangsters in America.
Why Leone’s masterpiece never received an Oscar, let alone a nomination, remains a mystery.

2. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

The Shawshank Redemption is an inspiring ‘lesson’ on how to unleash our full potential by embracing new challenges, building on our strengths and having the courage to fight back against life’s injustices and miseries. “Get busy living…or get busy dying. That’s god damn right.” Just like Red (Morgan Freeman) said.

Although The Shawshank Redemption depicts the story of two men who become close friends while serving life sentences in a maximum security prison, it is not the typical prison drama. Frank Darabont defied all conventions of the genre (bullying, violence, crime, hopelessness of a life) to reveal new themes: friendship, determination, survival and faith. The cast is headed by Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman and Bob Gunton. Yet, despite all of its greatness and 7 Oscar nominations, The Shawshank Redemption did not succeed in winning one.

The Shawshank Redemption – Oscar nominations

1995,  Best Actor in a Leading Role: Morgan Freeman

Best Cinematography: Roger Deakins

Best Film Editing: Richard Francis-Bruce

Best Music / Original Score: Thomas Newman

Best Picture: Niki Marvin

Best Sound: Robert J. Litt, Elliot Tyson, Michael Herbick, Willie D. Burton

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material from Another Medium: Frank Darabont

1.Psycho (1960)

Here we are at number one: immortal Psycho! No other movie had such a great psychological impact on the audience as Psycho had in its time. Hailed as the father of modern suspense, Hitchcock broke all the conventions and created one of the best and scariest movies ever. However, it failed to win an Academy Award. Psycho influenced many films that came after it ( Silence of the Lambs, Portrait of a Serial Killer etc.) and helped shape the slasher genre. No wonder it tops AFI’s list of 100 most thrilling American movies.

Psycho connects directly with some of our most vivid emotions: terror, despair, fear, and this makes it immortal. The nightmarish movie’s themes of paranoia caused by isolation, voyeurism, the dual nature of the human psyche, the lack of distinction between reality and appearance, the supremacy of death over life and the way in which madness is represented make Psycho stand out as one most disturbing and violent films. But…“We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven’t you?” – Norman Bates

Psycho – Oscar nominations

1961, Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Janet Leigh

Best Art Direction-Set Decoration, Black-and-White: Joseph Hurley, Robert Clatworthy, George Milo

Best Cinematography, Black-and-White: John L. Russell

Best Director: Alfred Hitchcock

Top 10 TGIF Shows of the 90′s

The Top (and Bottom) 10 TGIF Shows of the 90′s:  In Order of Memorability

From the late 1980s to the mid 1990s Friday nights actually had SOMETHING on TV to watch. And, for the most part it was aimed toward kids and teens because ya know, mayhem and illegal activities were unknown to the 10 year old crowd.

It’s Friday in 1992, and you’re seven years old. You get out of school, had your afternoon filled with playing outside, Power Rangers and Batman: the Animated Series. Now, you nabbed some sleeping bags and headed over to a friend’s house with pizza, hunkered down in front of the TV to watch “TGIF.”  It was the night where ABC dominated home, and kids all over would laugh, and of course learn “important”, but in reality, idiotic life lessons.

TGIF (for the uninitiated) was a TV show lineup that aired on Friday nights from 8PM to 10PM. The shows were usually family oriented and focused on being comedic in nature and sometimes tried to have” life lessons,” however these were usually schmaltzy, and even had “sympathetic “ music play during them, which is when I would take a bathroom break, knowing they were ridiculous, even as a prepubescent.  Anyway, TGIF stood for “Thank Goodness It’s Friday,” and it even had its own musical intro and outro, hosts, and from time to time special TV events; like clips from upcoming Disney movies, since Disney bought ABC around this time, and previews of the new Saturday morning cartoons that would debut the next day.

The lineup had a wide selection of shows ranging from crap, like You Wish and Dinosaurs, to really poignant coming of age comedies like Boy Meets World.  This lineup was established for quite some time, with shows like Perfect Strangers and Webster, but it wasn’t really until shows like Full House that the lineup became the standard for our generation. I will focus on the ten shows that I think really were the most memorable, good or bad.

The Not So Remembered:

10. You Wish

In the mid 90s there was resurgence in supernatural based sitcoms on TGIF. Essentially the purpose was to echo others of the past, such as Bewitched. The most popular and successful of these shows was Sabrina the Teenage Witch, which I will get into later in this list. While that show was essentially a Bewitched of the 90s, You Wish, attempted the same, mirroring itself on I Dream of Jeannie. Did it succeed; well do YOU remember this show…exactly.

On to the show itself, You Wish follows single working mom, Gillian Apple, which if that doesn’t sound like a porn name I don’t know what does. Anyway she picks up a magic lamp at a rug shop owned by Sallah from Raider’s of the Lost Ark. The genie in the lamp becomes indebted to her for his freedom, and lives with her and her children, thus causing sit-com hijinks to ensue.

Was it good?

No, but it wasn’t a blight to humanity or the worst show ever. It was standard, stock, and nobody bought it. When you start introducing long lost grandfathers in your first season you know there are problems. Even as a kid I knew it was pathetic and usually changed the channel or played Super Nintendo for a half hour until the next show in the block was on. It just came off as lazy, and to be frank “Sabrina” while still cheesy, did have better jokes, I mean TV’s Frank from “MST3K” wrote on it for a while, and even Penn Jillette was a recurring character. So, you can see they were trying when they made that show, was it funny, no, but at least an effort was being made.

9. Teen Angel

Also from the fantasy sit-com pile, Teen Angel is the story of Marty, who one night hungry, probably high as well, ate a six month old hamburger under his friend Steve’s bed on a dare. This of course kills Marty and now he is Steve’s guardian angel, who attempts to help his friend, but usually fails abysmally, and gets chewed out by God’s cousin Rod, played by Shepherd from Firefly, regularly throughout the series.

This show was created by Al Jean and Mike Reiss both veteran writers on The Simpsons during the golden days of that series. The premise of the show was rather unique of a TGIF show, it started off pretty dark with someone dying in episode 1, had a sarcastic humor, and even some interesting ideas. Since Marty was dead no one saw him, classic movie angel rules, but he pulls an invisible man in one episode and covers himself in makeup to become visible. All mind you, to try and make out with some girl.

To be honest, I kinda liked Teen Angel as a kid. It took risks, for a family show, made light of usually taboo subjects on TGIF, in this case death, and even broke the fourth wall. This happened when Steve’s mom, played by Brady Bunch alumnus Maureen McCormick, left the show mid-season, and Steve’s dad was introduced later. Usually, TGIF would just ignore that character and pretend they never existed (i.e.: Morgan’s recasting on Boy Meets World.) But, this still was a show riding the “Sabrina” fanta-com, yes I just invented that term, wave. Everyone saw through this, and a show about a dead kid doesn’t really sell with parents, so this was canceled after one season as well.

8.  Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper

This is where the reviews get much easier to explain, the premises from here on are your standard TGIF programming.  And speaking of standard TGIF, I bring you Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper. The premise was Mark Cooper,  former NBA player turns to being a high school teacher, and moves in with two women, since they need a third person to make rent. This of course leads to family-friendly sexual tension, and dragging out a romance for five seasons. Man, and I thought Jim and Pam took forever on The Office.

Was it good?

Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper was essentially a hybrid of many sitcom elements. For example, it was produced by the guys who made Full House, and I believe they may have referenced that show in the dialog once in a while, I even think they did a crossover at some point, but all my searching  has led to hazy answers. Also, it felt very much like The Cosby Show, having a predominantly black cast, and a similar family-friendly approach to humor. This even had a little Head of the Class/ Welcome Back Kotter thing going on with the teacher angle. Not to mention the premise of the show, one guy living with two women, where sexual tensions flare and a romance buds. Yeah, I saw Three’s Company as well, ABC, thanks for the ten minutes it took to create that story. Also, I love the dropped “g” in “Hangin’” it really makes me think an executive was yelling the following: “No! We need to sell this as an URBAN ‘Three’s Company’ drop that ‘g’!”

This show was lame. It was boring; the characters were half-assed and just felt like someone tossed darts at a board of sit-com clichés, drunkenly I might add, and ta-da, new show. However, it did quite well, and lasted for five seasons. Sure, retooling happened, but to be fair five seasons for a TGIF show, and staying on ABC for its full run, is quite rare. So, this show may be bland, but it least it was consistently bland.

7.  Clueless

This of course was the TV-Series based off a movie, based off a Jane Austen book. So, of course it’s very true to its source material.  Anyway, to break down the basics of the show, Clueless is the TV-series based off the 1995 film about a rich girl in California, rife with 90s slang and playing matchmaker at school with random people she finds to fit together. The series followed this pattern as well as other misadventures involving proms, box socials, and other stereotypical girly nonsense I don’t care about.

The show did do well, but ABC cancelled it before seeing the figures…geniuses. It was later moved to UPN and had a decent run for that network. It lasted three seasons overall.  It even ran in syndication for a few years after, and probably still does on obscure cable channels or local stations.

Was it good?

The show overall was not that bad. Having an older sister I was kind of forced to watch reruns of this while I waited for “Power Rangers” to come on. Honestly, it wasn’t gag inducing, aside from many of the 90s stereotypes, compared to other TGIF fodder with their emotionally schmaltzy crap. It had decent acting for the genre, until UPN took over and changed the dynamic from slower humor to more fast paced and pop culture driven. Overall, not a bad show, but really for the girls out there, obviously.

6. Perfect Strangers

Perfect Strangers was the show that spawned Steve Urkel…indirectly. But first, what was this show? Remember Mork & Mindy, the fish out of water comedy about an alien trying to adjust to earth culture? This is the same show, seriously, even has the same creator. The only difference between the two shows is the “fish” in the story. Mork, an alien from another planet, now replaced with Balki, immigrant from the island of Mypos (aka NOT-Greece.) Both were loud annoying characters who didn’t understand Earth (American) culture, and had people who cared about them that went crazy trying to control them. In this case instead of Mindy we have Larry, Balki’s distant cousin.

Was it good?

That’s it really – the show was nothing but a Mork & Mindy/ Odd Couple third cousin, with a nice layer of subtle racism towards immigrants to tie it all together. Seriously, everything Balki says is like something Fievle’s dad would dream about “In America they have SHOES!” See he’s not from American so he’s dumb, which makes it funny, HA.HA. Seriously, what was ABC trying to say with this show?

Despite what I thought, the show did incredibly well. It stayed on for eight years, making it one of the longest running ABC TGIF shows in the block’s history. It also created the spin-off, Family Matters which made that a mega hit. However, I still put it low on the list, because no one in their early twenties even remembers this show, and its spin-off Family Matters reached pop culture heights that Perfect Strangers never achieved.

5. Full House

While it didn’t have the most creative writing, or really “writing” at all, Full House did seem to pull everyone under the age of nine into its viewership, and for some reason kept everyone attached to it for years to come. The show followed a widower, Danny Tanner, his friend Joey and brother-in-law Jesse living in a house trying to raise his three daughters, hence a “full house,” subtle. While I don’t remember ever laughing at this show, even as a kid, what came off as most memorable was the life lesson moment that came at the end of every episode, which taught some nonsense like, “Daddy still loves you, even if you broke the lamp. Aww.”

The things to note if you watch any episode now, is how hilarious it is to see Bob Saget trying his hardest be nice and clean, when in reality he is a filthy comic who is actually funny, albeit bitter. Also, Joey, played by someone as funny as renewing your mortgage, Dave Coulier, is just creepy when you really look at him and his character. Obsessed with Bullwinkle at the age of 40 (which comprises most of Dave’s act even to this day) and refusing to get a job and move out of his friend’s house, while still making creepy cartoon voices to teenage girls, may make Uncle Joey about as weird as the bike shop owner on that one episode of “Diff-Rent Strokes.”

Was it good?

Was Full House a good show? No, but it made some serious money. The only other bland comedy that I think this mirrors today is Two and a Half Men, which is just horrible, but still rakes in cash from the elderly viewers, aka CBS, and is syndicated all over the place. This of course gave Charlie Sheen more money to use on doing cocaine, trashing hotels, and smacking women, because, you know, he was on a family show, and that’s how sit-com stars roll.  Now he’s got tiger blood.  Yeow!

4. Family Matters

Oh man, this show was the biggest thing as a kid, it was everywhere, and just about every show had a joke about it, The Simpsons would bash it almost regularly, as well as Pinky and the Brain. Family Matters followed a black family living in Chicago, whose father was a fat cop, played by the fat cop in Die Hard, can you say type cast?

The show was actually a spin-off of Perfect Strangers, a show about Bronson Pinchoit playing an annoying character (See Above). So, of course, the breakout star of Family Matters was Steve Urkel, easily the MOST ANNOYING CHARACTER EVER DEVISED! A skinny nerd with high-water pants and a loud nasally voice. He basically looked like those nerds you’d see on Saved by the Bell, walking stereotypes if you will.

Was it good?

For some God-forsaken reason his character became the big star of the show, and would even make cameos on other ABC programs, like Full House, to boost ratings. But as soon as this phenomenon of obnoxious nerdiness came, it quickly went, and it was taken off of TGIF and moved to CBS. Where they attempted to do a Friday night lineup of their own, which failed so badly that Family Matters’ last episode, a two-parter, never was completed…Thank God! I personally believe Urkel is the reason it took ten more years for America to get a black president. The Urkel dance did to us as a nation getting past color barriers as George Lucas did to me after I saw “Epiosde I.”

3.  Step by Step

Remember that show about a single mother and a single father who get married and take their respective kids to live together in a new home, yeah me too it was called The Brady Bunch. Seeing how successful that was, ABC copied the idea and made Step by Step. Haha…get it …Step by Step, cause they’re step…brothers…and sisters…oh forget it.

Was it good?

The show basically took the creepy amount of happiness in The Brady Bunch and instead had the kids hate each other and constantly fight, just like YOUR family. The family, again, consisted of stereotypes: the tomboy, the nerd…again identified by glasses, the surfer, the blatant Wayne’s World knockoff, the smart opinionated girl, and the valley girl.  Although a valley girl joke by 1994 was already a dated and lame, hell all of these were. It’s like someone thinking that stereotypes from a decade ago would work in the current era. At that rate they should have had hippies and greasers in there while they were at it. To be fair, Step by Step was funnier than the last two shows, still not great and the jokes for the most part were lame, it did have a little more real dialogue with kids who said sarcastic quips, and insulted each other, which compared to Full House was like Tarantino dialogue.

2. Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.  That’s the premise right there, I don’t need to explain anymore. OK, fine, Clarissa, from Clarissa Explains It All plays a teenage witch, based off of the Archie comics’ character, who would become a cartoon on ABC Saturday mornings shortly after .

Was it good?

This show was again, not really funny, but it was mildly entertaining, and would occasionally have an interesting face appear like the always-awesome Penn, or in an episode Frank Coniff, aka TV’s Frank from “MST3K.” Poor Frank, he must have really needed cash. ABC tried to do all sorts of gimmicks to profit off “Sabrina, “such as shows like You Wish and Teen Angel, which I mentioned earlier. Eventually “Sabrina” was moved to the WB, retooled, and finally canceled, but despite the flaws, it was still one of the better TGIF shows.

1. Boy Meets World

This was THE show; every kid loved this TGIF staple, and would watch every week. If you came in to school Monday missing that week’s episode you were out of the loop, it was really the water cooler show for kids drinking juice boxes. The show followed the exploits of a young boy, Corey Matthews, growing up, living and learning from his teacher and neighbor Mr.Feeny. Who handed down life lessons, which actually made some sense. The show lasted eight years and went from Corey’s middle school days, up until he left college to go off to New York.

Was it good?

The show obviously had a heart, but didn’t pour as much sap on as Full House and had characters that were actually entertaining. On top of that, the show was legitimately funny.  The character Eric, Corey’s dimwitted brother, was played by Will Friedle, later the voice of Terry McGinnis in Batman Beyond, was one of the funniest and in the earlier seasons, best developed characters in the series.

The show really defined what it was to be a kid growing up in suburbia, in an essence it was a later generation’s The Wonder Years, funny and sentimental. The only problems are episodes focusing on Shawn with his family in the trailer park. They were usually the least funny and most hammy in acting. But aside from that I feel it is a high watermark for family programming, and easily the best TGIF ever produced.

Now, TGIF is extinct. ABC is aiming for new markets to produce content. It still tries to be a family network, with shows like Dancing with the Stars and other bland inoffensive tripe. But, in an age of the internet and quality cable shows on AMC, FX, and of course premium channels like HBO, the day of TGIF and basic network TV is heading for the way of the Dodo.  Therefore, they are trying for somewhat edgier programming, like Lost and Modern Family. The problem being, with shows like Mad Men and The Walking Dead being able to do so much more and not worry about a family image ABC is at a crossroads and will eventually have to adapt to change for its viewers, or be left by the wayside permanently, which is where I see the old networks ABC, NBC, and CBS heading if things don’t change.

Top 10 MacGuffins

Originally popularized by Alfred Hitchcock, the term “MacGuffin” refers to the object in a movie that drives the action. In most cases, what the MacGuffin actually is irrelevant. It exists solely to get the characters moving and drive the plot forward. The only real requirement is that it must be something people are willing to cheat, lie, steal, kill, or be killed for. As long as it sounds plausible, it’ll work. Still, despite the very loose qualifications for a MacGuffin, great films have used some pretty memorable ones. Here are the Top Ten MacGuffins:

10. The Diamonds – Reservoir Dogs

No matter your opinion of Quentin Tarantino, there’s no arguing his knowledge of movies. For his first film, he boiled down thousands of crime flicks into the ultimate heist movie, although one where the heist is never shown. Less concerned with the mechanics of how the crime occurred, the film is much more interested in how the characters relate to each other, and what they’re willing to do to each other when things go south. At the center of that unseen robbery and all its horrible, horrible consequences is a bag of diamonds. Rarely seen and barely mentioned, the diamonds are the impetus for all the swearing, fighting, shooting, killing, torturing, and backstabbing. Things get so horrific that audiences can be forgiven if they forgot that the bag of diamonds are what brought the color-coded madmen together in the first place. And in the end, every one of them (except for Mr. Pink) ends up dead for the MacGuffin.

9. The Ransom – The Big Lebowski

What makes the Coen Brothers great is how they can follow the rules of a genre picture to the letter while still making something completely original and unexpected. Take The Big Lebowski, their 1998 stoner noir detective film. The plot, such as it is, follows the efforts of ex hippie Jeff “The Dude” Lebowski as he attempts to replace his cherished rug and in the process gets dragged into a good old fashioned L.A. mystery. Well, almost. It’s got all the trappings of a classic noir- the cynical detective, head-spinning twists and turns, a group of dangerous thugs, and a beautiful woman in peril. But none of it ever seems all that serious. Even it’s MacGuffin turns out to be a joke. In the film, Lebowski is hired by another Lebowski to deliver a suitcase full of money as ransom for his abducted trophy wife. Once this enters the picture (and abruptly gets lost) it drives Lebowski and his psychotic friend Walter to solve the crime, and hopefully see a big payout. But this is a Coen Brothers film and in the end, the ransom was fake, no one really got kidnapped, and besides Lebowski’s poor friend Donnie, everything ends up just about exactly the same as it began.

8. The Maltese Falcon – The Maltese Falcon

The stuff that dreams are made of. In the noir classic The Maltese Falcon, everybody wants to get their grimy hands on the titular black bird. Although we get some back story about the statue’s illustrious past and the gold and gems hidden beneath its simple coating, it’s mostly just window dressing to make us believe that these people would dedicate their lives to finding the thing, and be willing to fill each other full of lead to get it. For Casper Gutman, his creepy assistant Cairo, and the girl Brigid, it’s the end all and be all of their existence and the treasure they’ve covered the world searching for. For Humphrey Bogart’s Sam Spade, who’s caught in the middle of everything and ends up with the thing, it’s something to keep him alive along enough to collect some kind of payout. The Maltese Falcon is full of action and suspense, but what makes it unforgettable is the thick undercurrent of greed that propels every character, even the hero. Greed for a little black bird and the riches it can bring.

7. The Bike – Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

MacGuffins are usually something so important or valuable that they drive men and women to dramatic levels of greed and violence. No matter how vaguely they’re described, it’s always clear that anyone in their right mind would kill to get them. Other times, they’re just a really cool bike. Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, the 1985 flick that brought Pee Wee Herman to mainstream audiences, is all about his search for his awesome bike. When it is stolen early in the film, Pee Wee begins a cross country journey to find his treasured two wheeler. Along the way he befriends an ex-con, a waitress with a dream, and even a ghostly trucker called Large Marge. He finds love, friendship, fame, and eventually his bike. But by that point, it doesn’t even matter. Herman started out as a boy (although a really old creepy one) looking for his bike, but he ends up a hero, a friend, a lover, but most importantly of all, a man. Now that’s one hell of a MacGuffin. And it’s a pretty cool bike.

6. The Death Star Plans – Star Wars

There are two schools of thought when it comes to MacGuffins. The first says that what the MacGuffin is doesn’t matter. As long as it stirs up the plot and sets things in motion, good enough. The second school argues that for a MacGuffin to be truly effective, it needs to be something of critical importance, not just to the characters, but to the audience as well. The Death Star plans in Star Wars are prime examples of the second philosophy. They are the impetus for the plot and set Luke and company on their adventure of galactic battle, self-discovery, and feathered hair, but they are more than just some generic plans. Without the hologram stored in R2D2’s memory banks, the rebellion wouldn’t be able to bring down the evil planet destroying spaceball. Still, does it really matter how they blow up the thing? For all their usefulness, the plans are still just a thing to get the story going. And that makes them a MacGuffin.

5. The $2 Million – No Country for Old Men

Two things kick off the intricate cat and mouse game in No Country for Old Men. The first is a satchel with 2 million bucks in it that loser Llewlyn Moss (played by Josh Brolin) stumbles upon at a drug deal gone wrong. The second is his decision to go back and bring some water to the only man left standing after the fight. That may be what sets the bad guys on his trail, but it’s the $2 million MacGuffin that keeps them coming. Suddenly rich and just smart enough to realize how much trouble he’s in, Moss flees with the money even though he knows that whoever left it won’t give it up that easily. Unfortunately for him, the men who lost the cash hire Anton Chigurh, the most psychotic man to ever get a bad haircut. The money drives Moss to more and more desperate acts, just as it drives Chigurh to kill and creep his way closer and closer. In the end, the movie becomes about how far ahead of Chigurh Moss can stay and the real prize isn’t the money, it’s the chance to breathe another day. Classic Coen Brothers and classic MacGuffin.

4. The Military Secrets – The 39 Steps

You can’t have a list of MacGuffins without at least one example from the master, Alfred Hitchcock. Almost all of his films have a MacGuffin of some sort at their core, and few filmmakers were as skilled as Hitchcock in creating thrills and drama out of the chase for a largely unknown property. In his classic The 39 Steps, everything revolves around a mysterious set of “military secrets.” No one knows what they are, and Hitchcock never goes to any great length to explain them until the very end. By the time the audience does find out what they are, it almost doesn’t matter. All that is important is they’re secret and a shadowy cabal of foreign spies will do anything to get them, including terrorizing a poor, innocent Canadian who stumbles into their web of intrigue. One of the first and best examples of a MacGuffin, the military secrets in The 39 Steps create a lot of drama, and in the end mean almost nothing.

3. The Ring – Lord of the Rings

For all its power, mystery, and danger, The One Ring in Lord of the Rings is really just a big, high stakes MacGuffin . Unlike most MacGuffins, it doesn’t drive a bunch of lowlifes to chase each other around dark alleyways looking for a quick buck, it actually is the only thing which can save the whole world. Still, scale isn’t important in the MacGuffin game. Everybody wants the Ring, everything happens when it appears, and every danger little Frodo and friends face is directly related to the fact that he’s got the Ring on a string around his neck. Sounds like a MacGuffin to me. There’s also the fact that there isn’t much evidence that the Ring is so powerful or dangerous, besides the fact the characters tell us there is. A lot. Sure, it makes people invisible and drives Gollum to the depths of addiction, but that doesn’t seem like enough to rule the world. The Ring is just a thing that everyone wants. And that’s a MacGuffin, through and through.

2. The Glowing Briefcase – Kiss Me Deadly

The glowing briefcase in the 1955 noir film Kiss Me Deadly is such a classic MacGuffin that Quentin Tarantino borrowed it (or stole it, depending on your opinion of him as a filmmaker) for the Macguffin in his Pulp Fiction. In that movie, the glowing briefcase is something beautiful, famous, and valuable. In Kiss Me Deadly, it’s just as valuable, but a lot more deadly. In the film, tough-as-nails detective Mike Hammer happens upon an escaped mental patient in the middle of the desert. Then things start to get weird. After more twists than a rollercoaster, it becomes clear that everyone is after a glowing briefcase. Since this is 1955, the case contains something hot to the touch, atomic, and incredibly dangerous. Hammer (and the audience) are never quite clear what is in the case, but they know that an army of thugs are after it, and they don’t mind killing to get it. And in perfect MacGuffin tradition, the person who does finally get it dies in a fiery explosion. No wonder Marcellus Wallace was so pissed that those hamburger loving kids stole the thing.

1. Rosebud – Citizen Kane

In Orson Welles’ 1941 masterpiece Citizen Kane, an unseen newsreel reporter sifts through the wreckage of a man’s life, searching for the meaning behind his last words. The man is wealthy newspaper tycoon Charles Foster Kane, and the word is simply “rosebud.” The film is a wonderful example of how a MacGuffin works. The word “rosebud” is the impetus for the reporter’s search and the reason he’s been assigned the story, but besides a few mentions here and there, it quickly fades to the background as the men and women who knew Kane share their personal stories of how he loved, worked with, and ultimately hurt and betrayed the people closest to him. In the end, the secret of rosebud remains unknown to the reporter, although in the very last scene the audience sees that it was the name of his childhood sled. Critics and movie fans have debated for years what that final scene is about, but the reporter realizes that it doesn’t matter. No one thing or word defines a man, it’s how he treated the people around him that did. “Rosebud” is a classic MacGuffin; intriguing, mysterious, and ultimately meaningless.

Top 10 Child Stars Whose Lives Were Not Ruined By Fame

Considering the scandal, tragedy, and failure that typically plague child stars after their careers end, you’d think any parent would keep their child as far away from a Hollywood studio as humanly possible. Yet, despite the numbers of child actors who end up as drug addicts, alcoholics, criminals, or worst of all- reality show participants, millions of stage moms and dads drag their kids along to audition after audition, hoping their child will become the next Gary Coleman or Lindsey Lohan. All while keeping their fingers crossed that they can skip all the numerous betrayals, arrests or humiliations that seem to plague so many kids who spend time in front of a camera. Maybe those parents are thinking of the precious few child actors whose lives don’t turn into tabloid meltdowns and court proceedings. Those few who manage to cheat Fate and actually become functioning, successful adults. Here are the top ten child stars who managed to beat the curse.

10. Christian Bale

In 1987, a 13 year old Christian Bale rocketed to international fame playing the lead role in Steven Spielberg’s film Empire of the Sun. Despite his previous acting experiences in commercials and made-for-TV movies, Bale was quite unprepared for the sudden, scary adulation that he received for the role in school and on the streets. Unnerved as his mostly normal childhood disappeared overnight, young Bale made the decision to quit acting for good. He didn’t of course, but that first distaste of fame may have been what allowed Bale to avoid the traps of child stardom. The critical acclaim he received for the role in Empire of the Sun brought offers from all corners of the movie world. Offers which Bale and his father manager carefully chose. Instead of cashing in on his instant fame, Bale Sr. guided his son to interesting roles and kept him far from the temptations and pitfalls of Hollywood. Bale built up an impressive resume and made a perfect transition form child actor to adult one. He now holds the enviable position of being a major star and a respected actor. Sure, he did yell at that poor guy on the set of the Terminator movie, but overall, he seems like a pretty together guy.

9. Danica McKellar

Like many child stars, Danica McKellar really only had one role of any note. Playing the next-door neighbour and object of Fred Savage’s preteen affections on the hit TV series The Wonder Years, McKellar was a supporting character on a big network show. Once The Wonder Years ended and adulthood approached, McKellar found that the roles were starting to dry up and producers weren’t all that interested in casting a former child star. A pretty standard beginning in the former child star arc. All that remained for McKellar was to get high, steal a car, and screw up her life in an embarrassing public flameout. She had other plans. First, she studied mathematics at UCLA, coauthored a paper on her own mathematical theorem, and wrote a best-selling book that encouraged young women to break stereotypes and excel at math. She still does acting work (mostly voice over) and she now has three books under her belt. She’s beautiful, smart, successful, and most importantly of all, grounded. Do you hear that Screech? There is a better way.

8. Kurt Russell

Yes, Mr. Badass himself was once a child star. The movies haven’t really stood the test of time and his later work has mostly overshadowed them, but Kurt Russell became a huge star as a Disney contract player in the 1970s. He spent most of the Sixties amassing TV roles, but it wasn’t until Disney signed him to a ten year contract that his career took off. Russell became a bona fide teen idol in flicks like Original Family Band (where he met his future wife Goldie Hawn) and The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes. He was even a semi-pro baseball player for a time before an injury ended his career. After his childhood stardom, Russell continued to act and despite some failures (he lost out to Harrison Ford for the role of Han Solo), eventually struck up a partnership with director John Carpenter which began with an Emmy-award winning turn as the King himself in Elvis and included iconic anti-hero roles in Escape from New York, The Thing, and Big Trouble in Little China. His career has continued unabated ever since, giving lie to the belief that all child actors have to end up dead, drunk, or ashamed.

7. Dakota Fanning

It may be a little presumptuous to claim Dakota Fanning has missed the perils and pitfalls of a former child star considering she’s only 16, but all signs point to a healthy, interesting career for the young woman. Starting out in commercials at the tender age of five, Fanning quickly rose through the child star ranks, appearing on popular TV series and eventually big budget movies. Even at her young age, people realized Fanning wasn’t just another cute kid. At seven, she was nominated for a Screen Actors Guild Award for her work in I Am Sam. She continued to give amazing performances in all sorts of movies, working in everything from thrillers to voice-over work for cartoons that blew away her co-stars and critics alike. Fanning drew controversy for a 2006 role in Hounddog which her character is raped. But, consummate professional that she is, she patiently explained that it was “a movie. It’s not really happening.” Comments like that, and her decision in 2009 to lay off any more lead roles until she finishes high school, are evidence enough that no matter how her career goes, Dakota Fanning is one person who isn’t going to let fame screw her up.

6. Shirley Temple (Black)

Shirley Temple may be one of the best examples of a child star who leaves the entertainment industry completely, but still has a successful life. In the early 30s, Shirley Temple was not only the biggest child star, she was the biggest star period. With her golden locks, expressive eyes, and cute-without-being-cloying personality, she captivated the nation and ruled the box office. As she grew up, her acting career began to fade as audiences had trouble accepting her as anything but an angelic child. This is the part of the story where drugs, alcohol and a string of failed marriages to seedy guys called Eddie are supposed to enter the picture. But Shirley Temple was raised too well for that. She married, had a family, and set out upon a new career. She still appeared in some films and on TV, but she turned most of her attention to politics. After a few failed runs for office, she became an ambassador and diplomat. Yes, the little girl who sailed one the Good Ship Lollypop became a government official. She represented the United States’ interests at the UN, in Ghana, and finally Czechoslovakia. She also served on the boards of many companies, and published a best-selling book about her experiences.

5. Seth Green

Outside of Hollywood movies and TV sitcoms, nobody likes a smartass kid. Unless they grow up to be a smartass adult. Take Seth Green. After a successful career as a child actor- including his first role playing a young version of Woody Allen in Radio Days– Green has built a solid, respectable career playing likable smartasses in geek favorites like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Family Guy, and his own Robot Chicken. That just might be the secret. Compared to so many young actors who traffic in the idea that they are tortured artists and that acting in such a hard job, Seth Green seems to genuinely enjoy his life and career. That permanent smirk on his face isn’t because he’s a jerk, it’s because he realizes just how lucky he is to make a good living playing pretend with his buddies and making people laugh. That or he’s a big a-hole. Either way, he has successfully avoided the child star trap. And you got to respect him for it.

4. Christina Ricci

One of the main reasons a lot of child stars can’t make the transition to adult fame is that cute doesn’t age well. A person may be adorable as a child, but take those same features and put them on an adult face, and it just looks creepy. The one exception to that rule may be Christina Ricci. She was a pretty cute kid, but there’s something just slightly off about her as an adult. But luckily for her, it’s a good kind of off. The quirky kind of off that allows a young actress to stand out from the legions of dyed blonde robo-beauties that flood into Los Angeles every year looking for stardom. After a healthy start playing cute kids in big movies like Mermaids and The Addams Family, Christina Ricci made the transition to adult fame almost seamlessly. One minute she was a child actor in Casper, the next she was giving complex adult performances in Ice Storm and The Opposite of Sex. Her career has slowed down a little lately, but she’s still a great actress and a long way from appearing on a crappy reality show to make a quick buck.

3. Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Otherwise known as the only three named child actor you don’t want to punch in the face, Joseph Gordon-Levitt has one other defining feature that has spared him the indignities of the former child star curse; he’s a terrific actor. He first came to public attention playing the old alien trapped in a teenager’s body on Third Rock from the Sun. If you didn’t know his later work, after reading that last sentence, you’d be forgiven for assuming Levitt disappeared off the face of the earth once the show was over. And he did, kind of. Avoiding the simple path to glory that so many teen actors take, Levitt instead chose difficult roles in dark films. He played a male prostitute in Mysterious Skin, and a high school gumshoe in Brick. His radical strategy of only appearing in what he called “good movies,” Levitt built up a critical following and reputation as one of the most interesting up and coming actors in Hollywood. Levitt’s is still young (30) and his career is still beginning. His ability to avoid the pitfalls of childhood fame has  guaranteed audiences another great actor to watch for years to come.

2. Kirsten Dunst

Like Christina Ricci, Kirsten Dunst made transitioning from a child star into an adult seem like the easiest thing in the world. After a successful career as a child model and actress, Dunst made her breakthrough with a well-received role in Interview With A Vampire opposite Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. She went on to star in several more hits as a kid and teenager, and eventually landed the plum role of Mary Jane in the Spiderman films. And just to keep things interesting, she also appeared in several romantic comedies and indie films as well as starting a fledgling singing career. But this is where Dunst’s story gets interesting. She actually battled with mental illness as an adult and stopped working and entered a rehab facility to battle depression. Sounds familiar, right? But unlike so many other of her former child star colleagues, Dunst got help and resumed her career with barely a hiccough. If only Dana Plato would have done the same.

1. Ron Howard

Studying the career or Ron Howard should be a requirement for any kid actor who wants a career that lasts longer than his 19^th birthday. For starters, Howard actually came back from being a former child star twice. In 1960, when he was six years old, he was cast as the precocious Opie on the Andy Griffith Show. Once that ended, he bounced around and turned in a few TV roles here and there, but it wasn’t until 1973 when he starred in American Graffiti and Happy Days that he was a star again. This time, Howard wasn’t prepared to let anyone but himself decide the future of his career. He left Happy Days at the height of its popularity and began a quest to become a director. Trading on his fame, he made a deal with B-movie producer Roger Corman to star in one of his movies, but only if he could direct another one himself. He did, and parlayed the experience into gigs directing TV and lower budget movies. The rest is history. Howard has directed major hits, critically acclaimed dramas, and has an Academy Award. Now that’s how you have a career, kids!

Top 10 Music Producers

The annals of Pop Music history are rightly filled with the talented and charismatic men and women who played, sang, and danced their way into the public consciousness. Fans memorize their songs, see their shows, and most importantly, buy their records. But great albums and singles don’t just come out of nowhere. It takes a real professional to take the talent of an artist and shape and present it in the best way possible. Record companies pay big bucks to ensure that the talent they find records albums that people want to buy. And the people they pay are producers. Here is a list of ten great producers who not only served their record company bosses some of the biggest selling records in history, but also allowed the singers and musicians they worked with to sound their very best.

10. The Neptunes

Baby, I Got Your Money (NSFW version) Ol’ Dirty Bastard

The only duo on the list, The Neptunes- composed of Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo- were basically responsible for the sound of almost every top ten record at the turn of the century. Starting with well received singles for hip hop artists like Ol’ Dirty Bastard and Busta Rhymes, they quickly became the most sought after producers in the business. Impressed with their unique synth and sample heavy mixes, everybody and their uncle wanted to work with The Neptunes. They were soon producing big records for everybody from Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake to Snoop Dogg. They remixed just about everyone, and in the process reached the rare status of superstar producers. Their influence was so great at one point that artists and labels used them to market their hits. Of course it didn’t hurt that Williams sang on most of their tracks and often had just as much ormore talent than some of the artists they were working with. There are a lot of famous producers in pop music, but few became stars in the way that The Neptunes have.

9. Butch Vig

Today Smashing Pumpkins

After a somewhat successful stint as a drummer and soundtrack composer (he even contributed a track to the b-movie classic Slumber Party Massacre), Butch Vig gave up performing and started his own record label and recording studio. From almost the very beginning of his producing career, Vig made a huge name for himself working on big records from the emerging indie scene’s best groups. Behind the controls for such milestone records as Gish and Siamese Dream by The Smashing Pumpkins and one of the most important rock records of all time, Nevermind by Nirvana, Butch Vig took the raw, grungy sounds of the alternative scene and polished them into pop classics that crossed over but lost none of their authenticity or grit. After helping to redefine what rock and roll could sound like, Vig returned to performing with the mega-successful band Garbage. He still produces for bands like The Foo Fighters and others, but he made his mark bringing a clear, crisp sheen to the greatest grunge records ever released.

8. Daniel Lanois

Don’t Give Up Peter Gabriel featuring Kate Bush

If you bought a modern rock record in the mid to late 80s, chances are you’ve heard the production of Daniel Lanois. Responsible for the slick, smoky sound of such classic records as The Unforgettable Fire and The Joshua Tree for U2 and So by Peter Gabriel, Lanois’ work was all over the radio and video channels. A successful solo artist and multi-instrumentalist in his own right, Lanois brought an intensity and sense of perfection to his production work. Although his recording sessions are famously contentious, groups returned to him again and again for the sound he could bring to their albums and the quality work he could get out of them. One of Lanois’ greatest strengths is his ability to make synthesizers and other electronic instruments sound organic. Even in the 80s, when most pop music sounded like auditory plastic, Lanois’ (and his frequent collaborator Brian Eno) skill at making music sound natural allowed artists to explore new sounds while still maintaining an authentic, natural sound. And one that’s unmistakenly influenced by Daniel Lanois.

7. Todd Rundgren

Paradise By The Dashboard Light Meatloaf

If Daniel Lanois was the producer who defined what great rock records sounded like in the 1980s, Todd Rundgren did the same thing in the 1970s. Rundgren started as a guitarist and singer for a garage rock band called Nazz. Unsatisfied with the sound of their records, Rundgren taught himself how to engineer and produce albums. When Nazz floundered, he turned to producing full time and amassed a resume of some great records. Rundgren produced watershed albums for rock royalty like The Band, Hall and Oates, Patti Smith, Cheap Trick, and countless others. He produced and played lead guitar one of the biggest records of all time- Meat Loaf’s Bat out of Hell. Never satisfied with previous work, Rundgren continued to record his own records solo and with various groups and has become one of rock’s great experimenters and early adopters of new technology. He’s always been an innovator and always been one of the great rock and roll producers.

6. T-Bone Burnett

Down in the River To Pray Alison Krauss

Few people have done as much as musician, songwriter and producer T-Bone Burnett to keep classic American music in the public eye. As a legendary producer and soundtrack supervisor, Burnett has had a hand in some of the most popular roots and traditional albums of the last thirty years. Whenever an artist wants to record an album of traditional music, they usually turn to Burnett to get the songs and sound they want. Elvis Costello, Robert Plant, Allison Krauss, and others have all recorded roots albums with Burnett, whose musicianship and knack for recording helped them revive interest and sales in the genre. Burnett has also been an influential soundtrack coordinator, overseeing such classics as The Big Lebowski and O Brother, Where Art Thou? When he isn’t busy putting together great records, he also helps actors like Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon not make total fools of themselves when they portray musicians on screen. Burnett also produced a lot of huge pop records for groups like The Counting Crows and The Wallflowers, but don’t hold that against him.

5. Dr. Dre

Gin and Juice (Uncensored Version) Snoop Dogg

Rock and Roll isn’t the only genre with super producers. In the 80s, a kid from Los Angeles called Andre Romelle Young (better known as Dr. Dre) was busy defining the sound of West Coast rap music and helping create the careers of the genre’s biggest acts.. After a successful start as a local D.J., Dr Dre met up with an enterprising drug dealer and rapper called Eazy-E to form NWA. With Dre producing, the group shot to almost instant national fame and notoriety with their raw sound and controversial lyrics. Once the group dissolved over financial problems, Dre embarked on a successful solo career and became a producer for just about every rap artist who mattered. Besides his own platinum albums, he worked on hit records for Snoop Dogg, 2Pac, Eminem, 50 Cent, The Game, and others. Influenced by funk stalwarts like George Clinton and Curtis Mayfield, Dr. Dre avoided samples, preferring the flexibility of using live musicians to create his beats. The resulting tracks were heavy on synthesizers and keyboards, creating a unique sound that came to dominate the West Coast scene and continues to influence hip hop records to this day.

4. Sam Philips

Rocket 88 Ike Turner/ Jackie Brenston

When young Sam Phillips realized he didn’t have enough money to pursue his dream of being a lawyer, he settled for his second choice and went to broadcasting school. The legal system’s loss was rock and roll’s undying gain. Starting a little label called Sun Records, Sam Phillips was responsible for discovering some of early rock’s most influential artists. Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, B.B. King, Jerry Lee Lewis, Howlin’ Wolf, and Carl Perkins were among the rock gods who laid down tracks overseen by Phillips. An artist’s producer first and foremost, he allowed young singers like Elvis to play around in the studio and find their way naturally to the best take. Less interested in audio perfection than most producers, Phillips chose the takes he felt best captured the emotion of the song and the people performing it. One of the architects of rock music, Phillips will always be remembered for his fantastic ear for new talent and his ability to get real, raw performances out of it. A lot of people have claimed to have invented Rock and Roll, but few people have as strong a claim as Sam Phillips.

3. Berry Gordy

My Girl The Temptations

Berry Gordy revolutionized popular music and basically created a brand new genre with his star-packed record label Motown. Assembling perhaps the greatest collection of musical talent in the history of popular music, Gordy brought the world The Temptations, Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, Marvin Gaye, the Supremes, The Jackson 5, Stevie Wonder and many more. Gordy knew how to spot talent, but more importantly, he really knew how to package and market that talent. By creating a wholesome image for his stable of singers, he was able to bring Black American music to mainstream white audiences in a way no one else ever has. But all the marketing in the world wouldn’t have made a difference if the music wasn’t good. And boy was Motown music good. Gordy employed a small army of incredibly talented song writers and session musicians and had a magician’s knack for matching artists to songs. Despite the long whispered rumors and accusations that he was a control freak who exploited his artists, Gordy’s legacy in popular music is forever cemented. The guy produced “My Girl.” If that isn’t worth a lifetime pass, what is?

2. Phil Spector

Then He Kissed Me The Crystals

While Barry Gordy was busy creating the Motown sound to great acclaim and sales in Detroit, a musician, songwriter and session player called Phil Spector was putting the final touches on one of the other trademark sounds of the 60s. Dubbed by Spector “The Wall of Sound” it involved densely layered multiple tracks, plenty of echo, and a mix custom designed to sound great in mono on AM radio and jukeboxes. The technique allowed Spector to create single after single of lushly arranged pop masterpieces and create a reputation for himself bigger than the artists he produced. In later years, he worked extensively with former Beatles John Lennon and George Harrison, producing Let it Be (without Paul McCartney’s blessing) and several of their solo hits. Still incorporating the Wall of Sound technique, he produced timeless Lennon solo tracks like Happy Christmas (War is Over) and Imagine. Unfortunately, Spector’s increasingly erratic behavior (and his penchant for pulling guns on the artists he worked with), led to a slow demise of his career and reputation. Still, his legacy is firmly cemented in rock history and his songs still define classic rock to this day.

1. George Martin

Strawberry Fields Forever The Beatles

On February 13th, 1962, a record producer called George Martin had the most important meeting in the history of pop music. Already a successful producer of classical albums, cast recordings of musicals, and comedy acts, Martin was interested in branching out to rock and roll. Auditioning a young group of Liverpool musicians, he initially wasn’t all that impressed with their skill, but liked their vocals and personality. Martin swallowed his reservations and- after firing their drummer- signed the Beatles to a recording contract. Martin nurtured the group through their first recording sessions and helped Paul McCartney and John Lennon shape and hone their massive, but still raw, talents. Under his guidance, the two songwriters, along with George and Ringo, blossomed into the greatest band of all time. The Beatles wrote great songs, but they recorded amazing records. Working with Martin, they expanded the boundaries of pop music and smashed all preconceived notions of what a rock and roll record could sound like. Martin was an old hand at producing, but he shared a love of experimentation and helped the Beatles bring classical instruments, sound effects, and studio tricks to their records. George Martin produced a lot of other groups in his career, but he’ll always be remembered for creating the greatest pop records the world has ever heard.

Top 10 Must-See Japanese Films

Approaching an entire nation’s cinema can be a daunting challenge. Especially when that nation’s movie history is a hodgepodge of genres and styles like Japan’s is. In the last 100 years or so, Japanese cinema has produced works of great beauty, greater weirdness, and in the process has influenced scores of filmmakers around the world. Any list of ten Japanese films will be by definition, incomplete, but these ten films will give anyone curious about Japanese movies a sampling of what makes its films so well-respected and loved around the world.

10. Nobody Knows

When most of us think about Japanese cinema, it’s hard-boiled yakuza, freaky monsters, and homicidal schoolgirls that spring to mind. While those things exist (and appear elsewhere in this list), Japanese filmmakers are also capable of making some incredibly dramas that don’t involve vengeful ghosts or women with swords instead of hands. One of the most moving- seriously, don’t watch this film without a full box of Kleenex, is Hirokazu Koreeda’s 2004 film Nobody Knows. Based on actual events, it tells the story of four children who are left to fend for themselves by their mother in a Tokyo apartment. As the oldest son sets out to keep his brother and sisters alive while making sure no one finds out that they are all alone, events slowly spiral towards a terrible conclusion. The film is anchored by four truly stunning performances by the child actors who play the family and captures not only the bleak horror of their lives, but also the deep bond they feel for each other. It is a very special film and it truly earns every tear it gets.

9. Tokyo Olympiad

In 1964, Tokyo hosted the Summer Olympics. As much an excuse to showcase Japan’s rapid postwar reconstruction as sporting event, the Japanese government wanted a documentary made to capture the historical moment when Japan retook its place on the world stage as a prosperous, peaceful nation. Initially, they hired Akira Kurosawa to direct it, but when he demanded control over the actual opening and closing ceremonies as well, director Kon Ichikawa was brought in to salvage the project, and give the government the glowing historical document they wanted. Instead, he used the vast resources and unfettered access to create arguably the greatest sports documentary ever filmed. Entirely uninterested in the pomp or ceremony of the games, Ichikawa chose to focus on atmosphere of the games and especially the experiences of the athletes. His camera follows them as they prepare, wait, compete, and enjoy the games. The film is rarely concerned with the results of the events and spends equal amounts of time with the losers as it does the winners. Tokyo Olympiad cares more about the journeys of the people involved than the final medal tally. Tokyo Olympiad was supposed to be a celebration of the Tokyo Olympics. Instead, it is a celebration of human endeavour and sport itself. It’s not the easiest film to get your hands on, but it’s definitely worth the effort.

8. Godzilla

No serious examination of Japanese cinema could ignore the giant, laser-breathing mutant dinosaur Godzilla. There have been many, many films made since the towering lizard made his first appearance in 1954’s Godzilla (Gojira in Japanese), but the first film is still the best. Forget the American release- which heavily edited the film and added Raymond Burr for some reason, and go straight to the original version. Despite being a cheesy good time, Gojira started an important trend that has continued to this day in Japanese films: that of using shlocky genre movies to comment on the latent fears and worries of the culture. In Gojira, it’s the fear of nuclear weapons. The only country to have ever suffered a nuclear attack, it’s not by accident that the great, city-destroying beast is awakened by the Japanese government’s testing of an h-bomb. The subtext is plain, but is mostly underplayed. The whole movie is actually quite mournful and unflinching in its depictions of the destruction Godzilla wreaks. Well, it’s as moving as a film that features a man wearing a rubber costume and stepping on models can be. Still, it captures an important part of Japanese culture and gave the world one of its iconic monsters, so it definitely deserves to be seen.

7. Hana-bi (Fireworks)

There’s no one else in the world quite like Takeshi Kitano. His main gig for the last forty years or so is hosting goofy comedy TV programs in Japan. Insanely prolific, at one time he was on TV every night of the week. But when he takes off the funny wigs and bizarre costumes, Kitano is also one of the most respected Japanese film directors of his generation. Unlike his TV work, which is all sight gags and silly weirdness, Kitano’s films are stunning works of seriousness and violence. He has made many excellent films over his career, but none perhaps as amazing as Hana-bi. Meaning “fireworks” in Japanese (which was also its international title), the film tells the story of a two former cops, one who adapts to new his life in a wheelchair by painting surreal paintings (which were all painted by Kitano), and another who robs a bank to take his dying wife on one last trip. The plot is slim, but the colors, images, and transitions between violence and silence are stunningly poetic. Hana-bi is a very rare and special thing: a gangster movie infused with the soul of a painter.

6. Audition

Directed by controversial and breathtakingly original filmmaker Takashi Miike, Audition is one of the most disturbing and captivating films ever made. But you’d never know it from the first forty minutes. Audition starts with a premise straight out of a Jennifer Anniston romcom. Aoyama, a widowed TV producer, decides to hold “auditions” for a new wife, under the guise of casting a role in a TV program. When he sees the young and beautiful Asami, he is instantly smitten by her submissive nature and reserved beauty. Despite some weird discrepancies on her resume, he starts to date her and they fall in love. Then things take a very, very surreal turn. Audition is one of those movies that works best if you don’t know what’s coming, but rest assured that it you can make it through the deliberately slow beginning, you will see things that you have never seen in any other film. Audition is profoundly disturbing (even Rob Zombie admitted to being uncomfortable watching the final scenes) but it is a work of true originality by an uncompromising master of cinema. Just don’t plan on eating any time soon after you watch it.

5. Battle Royale

Even if you don’t know anything about Japan, the 2000 film Battle Royale still delivers as a kickass, bloody cult movie. It’s got plenty of gunplay, lots of gore, and a supremely dark comedic undertone. The movie has earned infamy for its hyper-realistic violence, unrelenting cynicism, and casting of actual teenagers and is a favourite among cult movie fans the world over. But the story of a class of ninth grade students who are forced to murder each other in an alternate reality fascist Japan is actually a cutting satire of Japan’s growing fear that its youth culture was just a step or two away from complete anarchy. The casting of Japanese legend Takeshi Kitano as the students’ psychotic former teacher and overseer of the game is especially fitting given Kitano’s public ambivalence towards Japanese youth and seems to firmly root the film in the anti-youth camp. But Battle Royale’s director Kinji Fukasaku has described it as a “warning” to the country’s youth not to be misled by adults and authority figures. In the end, Battle Royale becomes a hopeful film about the potential of youth masquerading as a cynical anti-youth picture masquerading as an action-packed sci-fi gore fest. It’s deep, shocking, funny, smart, and once you’ve seen it, you’ll never forget it.

4. Ring

In the years since Ring (Ringu) first appeared on American shores, Hollywood has pilfered just about every effect and technique that made it so shockingly original. Kicking off the J-horror explosion, Ring introduced western audiences to the chilly, supremely creepy tradition of the Japanese ghost story. Still, the fact that the long haired, white-clad Japanese girl ghost is now as much a part of the horror pantheon as zombies says something about how original the movie was. Based on a popular novel, Ring tells the story of a vengeful spirit who wreaks havoc on the lives of a Japanese woman and her son. What’s amazing about the film is that it earns most of its scares completely by mood. The ghost doesn’t do anything except walk slowly and demand the characters and the audience acknowledge her, but it is just as scary as the goriest monster. There are a lot of great Japanese horror movies that play from the same script, but Ring did it first, and better than most. Just don’t watch it on a VHS tape.

3. Akira

Any list of Japanese films has to include at least one animated feature. For many non-Japanese, anime (as cartoons are called there) is their first window into the larger world of Japanese culture. An exploration of Japanese anime can start in few better places than the 1988 classic Akira. Based on the sprawling comic of the same name, Akira boils down the essential elements of the book and presents them in a frenetic mix of psychic children, political corruption, teenage motorcycle gangs, and not one, but two full-fledged destructions of Tokyo. The plot of the film suffers from great holes and you’d be forgiven for thinking the second act is missing, but if you can accept that you’re not going to get any easy answers, the film is an amazing visual achievement. And an important cultural document. Akira (like Battle Royale and to a lesser extent Ring), expresses a profound disillusionment with the rapid technological growth of the country and its youth culture while at the same time worshipping them. It’s a strange, exhilarating movie and definitely one any cinephile needs to see.

2. Seven Samurai

If you only ever see one Japanese film, this has got to be it. Akira Kurosawa’s 1954 masterpiece Seven Samurai is the film that not only put Japanese cinema on the map, it also inspired a generation of filmmakers across the globe with its rousing story, incredible action sequences, and outstanding performances. The story of a desperately poor village that hires a rag-tag bunch of samurai to protect itself from bandit raids, Seven Samurai basically created the template that almost every action movie since has followed. Every movie where a reluctant hero gathers a team to accomplish a task owes a structural debt to the film. The story is a natural crowd-pleaser but the innovative use of slow motion, editing, and gorgeous black and white photography make Seven Samurai an arthouse favourite as well. The original cut is almost 4 hours, but every minute is an absolute treasure of cinema.

1. Tokyo Story

Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai may be the most beloved Japanese film of all time, but Yasujiro Ozu’s 1953 classic Tokyo Story is regarded by many film scholars as the greatest work of Japanese cinema. Although the entire movie involves little more than an elderly couple’s visit to their grown children in Tokyo, it is one of the most engaging films you will ever see. Ozu, filming from the traditional seiza (or kneeling) position, captures in intricate detail the minor sadness and tiny tragedies of modern life. There are no dramatic conflicts, no major speeches, and the only death occurs quietly and passes quickly. Tokyo Story simply allows its audience a brief look into the lives of one Japanese family at one particular time. The camera barely moves and the actors remain still, but each frame is a work of gentle, melancholy beauty that will stay with you long after the film ends. Tokyo Story is a powerfully human film and a great introduction to the work of one of the greatest filmmakers of all time.

Top 10 Saturday Night Live Hosts

Hosting Saturday Night Live is a pretty thankless job. Hosts, who often having little or no comedy training, are expected to come in on a Monday and be hilarious by Saturday. Add to that that the show often has no idea what to do with the guests hosts besides some lame sketch that capitalizes on whatever show or movie they’re on, and it’s no wonder that the hosting position is often the weakest link in the show. Still, despite the odds being stacked against them, some guest hosts turn in amazing performances and even outshine the regular cast members. These are the Top Ten Saturday Night Live Hosts. In the interest of fairness, we’ve decided to exclude former cast members from consideration. If they can’t be good, nobody can.

10. Buck Henry

He hasn’t been on the show in years and there’s a good chance most people under the age of 30 have no idea who he is, but writer and comedian Buck Henry was one of the best SNL hosts of the 70s. Back in the glory days, Henry was the host of each of the show’s first four season finales, and he was an indelible part of the early show’s success. Like Steve Martin, he was involved in some of the greatest sketches of the era, and is often mistaken as a cast member. His work opposite John Belushi in the classic Samurai sketches is a master class in playing it straight and by itself merits his inclusion on this list. He also had a ton of other great characters and set the bar high for what a person could do in the hosting role.

Best Sketches: Various Samurai Customers, Uncle Roy

9. Drew Barrymore

Way back on November 20^th, 1982, a seven year old Drew Barrymore became the youngest person to ever host Saturday Night Live, a record she still holds to this day. Take that Macauly Culkin! Barrymore has gone on to host the show more than any other woman (6 times so far) and is one of only two ladies in the super-exclusive Five Timers Club, Candace Bergen being the other. Comedy in general is a man’s world, but every time Barrymore shows up on the SNL set, you know she’s going to be funny. Even if she isn’t (or the writers give her stinkers) she always charming and fun to watch. She’s also, like the people on this list, one of the few hosts who can carry a sketch, rather than just stand in the corner and say a line or two.

Best Sketches: The Welshly Arms Hotel Lovers, Disturbed Job Applicant

8. Paul Simon

If you don’t include his musical appearances, Paul Simon hasn’t appeared all that much on SNL. But when he does, he always turns in very funny and surprisingly sweet performances. Unlike other singers who shined on the show like Justin Timberlake, Simon has never really pursued a career as an actor, but from the awesome work he’s done on SNL, he certainly could have. Add to that his long list of knockout performances including a reunion with Art Garfunkel, an amazing duet with George Harrison, and the moving first episode after 911, and you have one entertainer that will always be welcome on the show.

Best Sketches: Desert Island Christmas, Still Crazy After All these Years in Turkey Costume

7. Christopher Walken

It’s always the ones you least expect. Before he made his first appearance on SNL, you would have been forgiven for thinking that Christopher Walken wasn’t a particularly funny guy. Intense? Yeah. Creepy? Sure. But hilarious in a live comedy setting? Probably not. But he was. Playing against his well established type, Walken is always totally fearless and totally funny when he comes to host SNL. Trading on his image and deadpan voice, he’s the perfect straight man, and if they let him cut loose, he can turn in a performance that’s edgy, weird ,and most importantly of all, very funny. SNL is frequently called out for playing it safe, but whenever Christopher Walken makes an appearance, you’re guaranteed the comedy will be a little on the bizarre side. And that’s why we love him.

Best Sketches: Behind the Music: Blue Oyster Cult, The Continental

6. Alec Baldwin

With the second highest number of hosting appearances, Alec Baldwin was another one of those people who surprised everybody by being amazingly funny right from the start. It seems hard to believe now, but Baldwin made his name in Hollywood as a serious actor and romantic lead. It wasn’t until he appeared on SNL that people even knew he could do comedy. These days, he recognized as one of the funniest comedic actors of his generation, and a lot of that has to do with the incredible stuff he did on SNL. Which of course led to him being cast on 30 Rock, where he continues to rack up the comedy accolades and awards. In a way, SNL allowed him to make the transition from dramatic lead to hilarious character actor. Well, that and his expanding waistline.

Best Sketches: Canteen Boy, Schwetty Balls

5. John Goodman

John Goodman got his start playing Roseanne Barr’s husband on Roseanne, so it shouldn’t come as surprise that he thrived in the comedic atmosphere of Saturday Night Live. During the Monica Lewinsky scandal, he practically became a regular cast member, returning week after week to portray whistle-blower Linda Tripp. Goodman has hosted the show a record 11 straight seasons in a row and is third overall in most appearances. SNL even joked about his incredible amount of appearances and included him as a potential cast member in one sketch. Goodman even helped replace John Belushi as one of the Blues Brothers, making him one of the few guest hosts to actually start in an SNL movie. Even if it was one as terrible as Blues Brothers 2000.

Best Sketches: Da Bears, various appearances as Linda Tripp

4. Justin Timberlake

Justin Timberlake is one of those great SNL hosts who comes on with low expectations and surprises everyone. When he first appeared in 2003, most people watching were expecting him to embarrassingly mug his way through a couple sketches, and hopefully not humiliate himself too badly in between his musical numbers. Instead, Timberlake knocked it out of the park. Not only was he game and gave it his all, he was actually as funny as the rest of the cast. He continues to appear on the show- often uncredited in the Lonely Island guys’ digital song parodies, and an episode with him hosting is usually a guarantee of a funny show that week. And these days, those are few amnd far between.

Best sketches: Dick in a Box, MotherLover

3. Jon Hamm

A relative newcomer to the SNL hosting game, Mad Men’s Jon Hamm has instantly become a show favourite. And can you blame them for loving this guy? He’s handsome, he’s funny, and he seems to have as much talent for dumb comedy as he does for searing drama. Not bad considering his signature role is a hard-drinking womanizer who’s life is always one step away from total collapse. SNL (never one to let a good thing go to waste) realized how well Hamm fit into the proceedings, and have had him back once a season since he first hosted back in 2008. His episodes have been among the highest rated in recent years and tend to be the funniest ones all year. Here’s to many, many more.

Best Sketches: Hamm and Buble, Don Draper at the Apollo

2. Tom Hanks

There are few Hollywood stars who are able to move from comedy to drama as easily as Tom Hanks. He started his career playing lovable idiots, moved on to playing idiots with sensitive hearts, and then out of nowhere became one of the best actors of his generation. On his many Saturday Night Live appearances over the years, he fits in like he’s always been there. He’s created memorable recurring characters, poked fun at himself like a pro, and generally looks like he was having a great time. How much more could you ask for from a guy who’s basically there to plug a movie?

Best Sketches : Two Lonely Guys, Mr. Short-term Memory

1. Steve Martin

Steve Martin was such a huge part of the early success of SNL that it’s hard not to think of him as a regular cast member. One of the show’s first break-out sketches was the Martin led “King Tut.” It was a profoundly silly sketch, but Martin’s performance in it as well as one of the Two Wild and Crazy Guys, helped turn SNL into an overnight sensation. Martin would go one to host dozens of episodes over the course of the show’s long history (most recently in 2009) and has become such a huge part of the mythology of SNL that he may as well be a cast member. At the very least, he deserves the same amount of credit for turning in funny performance after funny performance and helping to establish the show as the preeminent American comedy institution.

Top 10 Unique Post-Oscar Acting Careers

After winning an Oscar, an actor’s career is usually marked by the question: Did they live up to the award or not? Here are 10 Oscar-winning actors who have gone in completely different directions.

10. Donna Reed-Riding the Highs and Lows of Television

Best Supporting Actress for From Here to Eternity (1953)

Reed’s career after winning her Oscar was mostly in television. In 1958, she starred in The Donna Reed Show, which was produced by her husband. While Reed won her Oscar playing a prostitute, her show was so wholesome that, according to TV.com, it “won many awards from various civic, educational, and medical groups due to its handling of topics like adoption, prescription drug abuse, and home safety.” Since this was the 50’s and that’s what was popular on television, it was a big hit. Her other notable TV role, on Dallas 20 years later, was much less well-received. She was hired as a replacement actress for the character of Elle Ewing when original actress Barbara del Gettes left for health reasons. Accepting a different actress for the same character was not something audiences were prepared to do and the network had to fire Reed and bring del Gettes back due to popular demand.

9. Jamie Foxx-Multitalented Singer/Songwriter and Radio Host

Best Actor for Ray (2004)

Before he got into acting, Foxx was studying to be a classical pianist which helped him bond with Ray Charles so well during production as the two got to know each other by playing duets. After winning the Oscar for his eerily lifelike portrayal of Charles in Ray, he returned to music by releasing an album of original music. He’s since released two more and was even briefly considered as a replacement judge on American Idol after successful guest stints. He also hosts a show on Sirius radio called the Foxhole.

8. Gwyneth Paltrow-Lifestyle Blogger, Country Singer, and TV Guest Star

Best Actress for Shakespeare in Love (1998)

Paltrow’s Oscar for “Shakespeare in Love” was her crowning moment as the proverbial prom queen of Hollywood. Initially, Paltrow made career choices as if she wanted to backup her statuette with another by taking the kinds of roles that practically beg for a nomination: A suicidal poet in Sylvia and a tortured mathematician’s daughter in Proof. Since then, she’s seemingly given up on trying to validate herself as a high profile actress to an unforgiving press (the daughter of Hollywood royalty, she’s been derided as a product of nepotism). She started a lifestyle website, goop.com, which has gained a lot of notice. She also returned to the Oscars this past year, not as a nominee, but as a song performer for Country Strong. Throw in her hit appearances on Glee and Saturday Night Live this past year, and it’s fair to call her a reinvented woman.

7. Kevin Spacey-Real-life version of Jim Carrey in The Majestic

Best Supporting Actor for Usual Suspects (1995) and Best Actor for American Beauty (1999)

In 2003, Kevin Spacey was appointed the Artistic Director for one of the most prestigious theaters in London with no less daunting a task than saving it from insolvency.  The Old Vic Theater, which has operated since 1818, was slated for demolition by a new property owner just five years earlier. Spacey has picked up the occasional Hollywood role, but most of his focus for the last eight years has been on acting in and producing plays for the Old Vic. He also produced and acted in his dream project in 2004, Beyond the Sea, about the life of Bobby Darin. He even accompanied the film’s release with his own CD covering the crooner’s hits and followed it up with a musical tour that summer.

6. Luise Rainer-Pioneer for Discontented Stars Everywhere

Best Actress for The Great Ziegfeld (1936) and The Good Earth (1937)

Some of the more cynical Oscar recipients (George C Scott, Alan Arkin, Sideways screenwriter Alexander Payne, etc.) have bemoaned the idea of competition or been otherwise apathetic. Luise Rainer, on the other hand, is unique in believing that the actual act of being voted on by a body of her peers as actress of the year was what ruined her career. “Nothing worse could have happened to me,” she’s said. Rainer felt that the increased fame and the way she was treated as a star left her disconnected from other actors she was used to collaborating with and she also felt that the studio put her in overly commercial projects. She complained about this loudly to the press which led to a mutually beneficial divorce between her and employer MGM Studios. Although she was lured to the screen occasionally, she retired from acting. She spent the rest of her life maintaining a 43-year marriage, writing articles, travelling, producing art, and sporadically dabbling in theater. This past March, she turned 101.

5. Whoopi Goldberg-Stand-up Artist and Media Icon

Won: Best Supporting Actress for Ghost (1990)

Whoopi Goldberg was once on a conventional path to stardom as an actress with roles in diverse high-profile films such as Soapdish, The Player and The Color Purple. Her Oscar win in Ghost was the culmination of that route but it was nearing the end of that phase of her career.  Casting directors today are probably not even considering Whoopi for prestige parts in films because she’s not really known as an actress anymore. With stints hosting the Oscars, participating in the annual charity event Comic Relief, doing stand-up comedy and co-hosting The View, she’s more of a media icon nowadays. She also took a role on a TV show, Star Trek: The Next Generation, simply because she was a fan of the show.

4. Richard Dreyfuss-Professor Emeritus

Won Best Actor for The Goodbye Girl (1977)

An Oscar-winner at the age of 29 (only two Best Actor winners have won the award before turning 30), Dreyfuss has immersed himself in academia where his primary interests include civics, education, government and rhetoric. He was a scholar-in-residence at England’s ultra-prestigious Oxford University where he served as a Senior Research Advisory Member of St. Antony’s College. In addition, he served for 12 years on the Board of  the National Constitution Center and founded the non-profit institute Dreyfuss Initiative dedicated to reviving civic conversation in American culture and improving the teaching of civics in elementary education. He still acts occasionally but he openly admitted in interviews for his film Poseidon that he now just acts for the money and that his passions lie elsewhere.

3. Glenda Jackson-Member of Parliament

Won Best Actress for A Touch of Class (1973) and Women in Love (1970)

Like many actors, British actress Glenda Jackson used her high profile to spout out on various political opinions. Unlike most other actors, however, she took it upon herself to get into politics. An outspoken opponent of Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and the Conservative Party, Jackson decided to run for Parliament in 1992 and won. There were some expectations that she would coast through parliament based on her previous fame as a movie star, but she immediately took an interest in transportation and was eventually appointed Junior Transportation Minister in 1997. She also unsuccessfully ran for the Mayor of London in 2000.

2. Gig Young-Double Murder-Suicide

Won Best Supporting Actor for They Shoot Horses, Don’t They (1969)

Young’s tragic post-Oscar path was certainly unique because he’s very likely (Hollywood was a sordid place of scandal in the Golden Age so you never know) the only Oscar winner to commit murder  (his fifth wife three weeks into marriage) followed immediately thereafter by his own suicide. Young had a long history with alcoholism and psychological problems before and after his Oscar despite having a long career as a character actor and leaving behind a trail of friends and admirers. His low point was being carried off the set of Blazing Saddles in an ambulance on the first day of shooting (suffering an alcohol-induced delirium tremens), forcing production to replace him with Gene Wilder. His Oscar later became the center of a legal battle when his sole child, Jennifer Young, fought his agent for ownership of the physical statue. Jennifer Young is currently producing a documentary on Gig that has yet to find a distributor.

1. Grace Kelly-Princess of Monaco

Won Best Actress for The Country Girl (1954)

Gig Young’s downfall into suicide made for an immensely fascinating story, but to end the list on a more upbeat note, I’m going to give the top spot to the woman who met Mr. Right and became a princess. Quite literally. When her film, The Country Girl premiered at the Cannes Film Festival in France, she was invited for a photo session with the prince of Monaco whom she would later marry. This marked the end of a 5-year acting career that’s as remarkable an output as anyone could have in such a short span. By marrying Prince Rainier, she also saved the tiny principality (if you can’t find that country on the globe, try a magnifying glass: it’s the second smallest country in the world) from dissolution. A 1918 Treaty stipulated that if the Prince of Monaco couldn’t produce a male heir, then it would be surrendered to France. Rainer’s first fiance was rumored to be infertile and when the Prince met Grace Kelly at Cannes, he was supposedly in search of a new bride.

Top 10 Unsexy Sexy Songs

The pop music industry revolves around using sex appeal to sell songs, so you’d figure they’d be pretty good at it by now. Sure, not every song is going to be a hit, but they’re not going to release any tracks that completely miss the mark, right?

If you believe that you haven’t heard any of the following ten songs, which are so spectacularly unsexy they make us envy eunuchs.

10. Olivia Newton-John – Physical

The 80s’ idea of making something sexy was to coat it in purple spandex and play synthesizer music in the background, so maybe it’s unfair to judge “Physical” by modern standards. But in 2010 Billboard Magazine named it the sexiest song of all time, which proves two things: first, “Physical” is an ageless blight that must be destroyed, and second, nobody at Billboard knows what sex is.

The video is about Newton-John abusing fat people, and unless you suffer from a very particular fetish you’re not going to find that erotic in the slightest. The song itself doesn’t fare any better, as the innuendos are delivered with such ham-handedness that you almost feel like Newton-John didn’t realize she was supposed to sound seductive and actually thought this was a song about exercise. The video proves our suspicions—she looks so desexualised it constitutes lewd conduct to be aroused by her. Anyone who finds this song sexy would be brought to a state of constant orgasm by a Sears catalogue.

9. R. Kelly – Sex in the Kitchen

R. Kelly is the Salvador Dali of making love to women—he has to turn even the most mundane encounter into a surreal nightmare. No song demonstrates that better than “Sex in the Kitchen,” his passionate, heartfelt tribute to getting it on next to bakery products.

“Sex in the Kitchen” sounds like a cookbook written by a nymphomaniac—it’s mostly about sex, but there are just enough references to food that it remains a major theme. Maybe R. Kelly was hungry when he wrote the song. Or maybe he’s just insane. You can never be sure with him.

When R. Kelly sings about his girl cutting up “tomatoes, fruits and vegetables and potatoes,” he makes it sound like the most erotic thing in the world. Lyrical redundancy aside, if R. Kelly finds chopped tomatoes arousing he must impregnate every woman in a ten mile radius when he’s served steak. But at least he keeps the song somewhat classy, and doesn’t—oh wait, there’s a line about tossed salad near the end. Gross. If you’re ever offered food prepared in R. Kelly’s kitchen, don’t eat it.

8. Ne-Yo – Sexy Love

“Sexy Love” sounds like a title a 13 year old would come up with, and the rest of the song appears to have been penned by a teenager, too.

After a stunningly creative intro of, “My sexy love, so sexy,” Ne-Yo sings about a problem every teenage boy faced: “Just one touch and I erupt/Like a volcano and cover her with my love.” Dude, too much information.

After Ne-Yo gets his premature ejaculation problem off his chest, the song descends into a mess of romantic clichés. It’s like it was written with ad-libs, but the writer only knew four words to put in the blanks—“baby” and “babygirl” are used constantly, and lines like, “I love making love to you” represent the creative apex. At least he’s not letting his performance issues dampen his enthusiasm, but it’s hard to be aroused by a song about a guy who just realized sex is kind of neat.

7. Madonna – Hung Up

Yes, Madonna is still around, and yes, she still sucks. As a song, “Hung Up” isn’t that bad, but in 2009 the music video was voted the least sexy video of all time. If you disagree, you haven’t seen it.

In just five minutes you’ll see more of Madonna’s ass than it’s safe to be exposed to in a lifetime. She gyrates around in a pink leotard that leaves nothing to the imagination, which would be fine if she hadn’t been nearly 50 when this video was released. It’s like watching our mothers prance around with their buttocks hanging out—everything about it just feels… dirty. And not the good dirty, the “I’ve been in the shower for five hours and I still don’t feel clean” dirty. Three cameramen committed suicide during the recording of this video, and, if you listen closely whenever the camera zooms in on Madonna’s pelvis, you can hear their screams.

6. Dinah Washington – Long John Blues

As proof that unsexy songs aren’t a new phenomenon we’re going back to 1949, when the Queen of the Blues sang a smooth, jazzy ballad about getting railed by her dentist.

On the scale of erotic professions dentist ranks behind only coroner and concentration camp guard, so Washington had a tall mountain to climb—and a double entendre about cavities that needed filling was not the way to go about it. “He took out his trusted drill and told me to open wide” is possibly the most uncomfortable sexual analogy ever written, especially since it came right after we learned that “every woman just can’t stand the pain.” Good lord. If this song had been written thirty years later the lyrics would have just been Washington’s dentist yelling “Is it safe?” while he molested her.

5. Black Eyed Peas – My Humps

We apologize for reminding everyone of the existence of “My Humps,” a song so patently stupid that scientists have linked prolonged exposure to it with an increased risk for brain tumors, but it really does deserve a place on this list. Maybe it’s old hat to make fun of it, but the fact that the Black Eyed Peas still have a career is proof that they’ve yet to be mocked enough.

“Lady lumps” sounds like a term ultra-Orthodox Jews use when they give the sex talk. Fergie’s use of it suggests that she either has the maturity of an eight year old or she’s trying to tell us she has breast cancer. And the latter possibility is actually more arousing than anything else in this song.

When Fergie isn’t giving us an anatomy lesson she’s bragging about how she uses her body to make men spend all their money on her. Way to set feminism back a decade with your inane music, Black Eyed Peas. Is bragging about how your camel-esque behind makes men do your bidding supposed to be seductive? Maybe it’s our own fault for expecting better of a band that rhymed “sexy” with “sex me.”

4. Another Level – Freak Me

“Freak Me” was written by an R&B group called Silk, but it only became a musical contraceptive when it was covered by Another Level, a British boy band. Any song called “Freak Me” is obviously going to lack sophistication, but Another Level managed to turn it into something especially ridiculous.

Lines like, “Let me lick you up and down” and “I want to be your nasty man” are silly, but Silk could pull them off because they looked like they could actually follow up on those requests. The guys of Another Level are so wimpy that their idea of being a “nasty man” is reading their poetry to their girlfriends before they spend ten seconds thrusting and five minutes apologizing.

Their desire to “Let me freak you” doesn’t sound erotic, just desperate—these are lonely men, and there’s nothing sexy about that. Hell, the band’s token black member looks like he’s on the verge of tears throughout the entire video. Considering this was the peak of his career, we can’t really blame him.

3. R. Kelly – Pregnant

This is R. Kelly’s second entry on the list, and frankly, he could have occupied all ten spots. The man is to love songs what rape kits are to romantic evenings. Statistics show that for every R. Kelly song released the number of lesbians in the world skyrockets, and “Pregnant” was responsible for more vows of chastity than every religion in history.

“Pregnant” is about a girl with an “unbelievable booty” that R. Kelly met and became so enamoured with he immediately decided he wanted to “knock her up.” He then told her as much, making it both a terrible impulse decision and a terrible pickup line. No woman on Earth is going to respond to, “You make me want to get you pregnant” with anything except a rape whistle. It’s about as romantic as shouting, “You will be the one to bear my young!” then clubbing her and dragging her back to your cave.

And if you think that’s sexist, wait until you hear the line, “Now put that girl in my kitchen.” Wait, is this a prequel to “Sex in the Kitchen”? That song just got a whole lot darker.

2. Liz Phair – H.W.C. (NSFW)

There’s no way to be subtle here, so we’re just going to come out and say it: Liz Phair really, really likes semen. She likes it so much she wrote a ballad in its honour, and it’s even more embarrassing to listen to than you’d imagine.  Seriously, if you’re easily embarrassed, just don’t watch the video.  Take my word for it.

We don’t want to be prudes—male singers have written plenty of great songs about how much they love sex, so it would be hypocritical to criticize a woman for doing the same thing. But Phair’s song was so obviously written for its shock value that it’s not sexy, just insulting. We’re supposed to say, “A girl who sings about semen, and plays the harmonica? What a free spirit!” but our only reaction is, “Ew, gross.” We’re glad you like ejaculate so much Liz, but we really don’t need to hear about what it’s doing for your complexion. The only people who are going to be aroused by this song are future prostitutes and future serial killers.

1. Katy Perry – Milk Milk Lemonade

This song was cut from Perry’s Teenage Dream album, and considering Perry is most famous for a song about the complex and esoteric subject of making out with another girl it must have hit a whole new level of shallow to get the axe. It did—and then it kept digging.
The fact that the children’s rhyme about bodily fluids turned “sexy” hook is the least idiotic part of this song is a testament to what a concentrated dose of ear poison it is. Every line is a dreadful double entendre with all the subtly of a sledgehammer to the face. Lyrics like, “You say I got the ripest melons on the street/My honey dew and your banana make a treat,” will forever ruin both sex and fruit for anyone unfortunate enough to hear them. And it only gets worse from there, as Perry invites listeners to sample her sugar, because she’s a “tasty treat.” Well, at least she’s not asking us to try her chocolate, though it is mentioned in the hook.  Ew.

Top 10 Patriotic Movies

Looking for some movies to watch this Independence Day that will make you fiercely proud to be an American? Well look no further, because these films will have you bursting with so much patriotism that you’ll barely have room for any of that all-American barbequed meat.

10. The Patriot

This one could have clawed its way onto this list based on its name alone. But The Patriot’s patriotic merit goes a lot deeper than the title: Mel Gibson plays his usual character, the Formerly Peace-loving Family Man Driven to Revenge by Murder of Family Members, but in this case, the family-member murder occurs during the American Revolution. Of course, Mel is inspired to take up arms against his oppressors. Australian actors and historical inaccuracy aside, this movie will have you seized with old-fashioned patriotic fervor. Remember to calm yourself down before you talk to any British friends afterward.

9. Top Gun

There category of ‘patriotic military movies’ obviously contains a lot of completion: pretty much any movie involving both Americans and Nazis is a surefire bet for a pro-USA spin. But if you’re looking for something a bit more cheery than Saving Private Ryan for your Fourth of July celebration, you can’t go past Top Gun. While it has its downer moments, this military-themed movie is less about the horrors of war and more about lots of really awesome planes flying around doing cool stuff. The flying scenes are so good, even the Chinese couldn’t help but steal a bit of footage for one of their Air Force-related news broadcasts earlier this year.

8. Iron Man

Unfortunately, Captain America doesn’t come out in time for Independence Day 2011, so you’ll have to look elsewhere for an uber-patriotic superhero movie. You could watch the old version of Captain America that came out in 1990, in which our hero must rescue the President before an Italian Nazi can implant a mind-control device in his brain and use him as a puppet. Unfortunately, that movie kind of sucks, so instead you might want to go for Iron Man, in which all-American Tony Stark flies around killing terrorists and bad guys all over the world. Surely Tony Stark is the epitome of the American Dream – whether that’s a good thing or not is up to you to decide.

7. Rambo III

The Rambo franchise might have started off as a statement about veterans traumatized by the Vietnam War, but by Rambo III, it’s about a world in which a single American can show up in Afghanistan and immediately have the locals fighting to the death by his side. Rambo is also gifted with America-based superpowers: he can bring down helicopters with a bow and arrow, and easily outruns large fiery explosions. Sure it’s not realistic, but it’s an escape. And if fantasy Afghanistan ain’t your thing, you can always go for Sylvester Stallone’s other ode to America, Rocky IV, in which Rocky beats up a Communist while dressed in stars-and-stripes-patterned shorts.

6. Team America: World Police

Team America, about an elite group of Americans that fights terrorism around the world, is definitely not for everyone: it features, among other things, a puppet love scene that has scarred many viewers for life. But fans of its brand of humor will enjoy a movie that spares no aspect of American society, and yet also manages to make you kind of fond of it all, too. Sure, it’s a spoof on America’s arrogance and dumb action movies, but it also managed to give modern American patriotism an entirely new official anthem and a catchy new slogan: ‘America, F**k Yeah!’

5. Red Dawn

A plucky team of small-town teenagers gang up to fight against an unlikely invasion of small-town America by the Soviet Union and its allies, using only their wits, bravery and outdoorsman skills. Sure, it’s easy to make fun of Red Dawn, especially the scene where Harry Dean Stanton starts shouting “Avenge me, son! Avenge me!” for no particular reason. But the movie’s also kind of touching, and its patriotic power is undeniable. Red Dawn is currently being remade for the modern era, with America’s new attackers consisting of… North Korea. How can a small country that barely manages to feed its own population get all the way to America and launch an invasion, you ask? Well, a better question is this: how many ticket sales will be lost if angry North Koreans refuse to see the film? Exactly.

4. 300

But this movie isn’t even set in America, you cry! Sure, but in this adaptation of Frank Miller’s comic, ancient Sparta is pretty much a thinly veiled US of A. Both the comic and the film use the fight of the 300 Spartans against the forces of the Persian Empire to showcase modern America values like bravery, liberty, friendship, equality, and impressively sculpted abs. Sure, the real Spartans might have had some beliefs and practices that we Americans really wouldn’t have liked, but it’s better if you forget all that and just sit back and enjoy the fancy fighting.

3. Air Force One

How could we leave out a movie that features a tough-talking, gun-toting president taking down a bunch of terrorists? Harrison Ford plays an American president whose plane is hijacked by evil Soviets. Being both the president and Harrison Ford, he knows that he has no choice but to hunt them all down himself. For reality to live up to this, President Obama would have had to fly into Pakistan himself and personally punch Osama bin Laden to death, perhaps while uttering some sort of badass line like “Jihad this.”

2. Letters from Iwo Jima

At first, this might seem like an odd movie to include: the Clint Eastwood-directed film about Japanese troops in World War II isn’t just in another language; it’s from the viewpoint of a country that was at war with America. Probably only Clint Eastwood, who had built up his patriotic credit over a lifetime of appearing in movies like Heartbreak Ridge, could have got away with making this one. And that’s the funny part, because if you watch the movie carefully, you’ll see that in many ways it’s really about America. The main characters are all exposed to American values, and by the end of the movie they’ve come to realize that these values are in fact superior to those of warlike Imperial Japan. And Mr. Eastwood manages to do all this without getting insulting or preachy.  Team it up with its companion film, Flags of Our Fathers, for a double dose of nostalgic patriotism.

1. Independence Day

It’s highly unlikely that any movie will ever be able to beat the scene in which a Marine played by Will Smith punches out an invading alien life form with the words “Welcome to EARTH.” Sure, Independence Day is incredibly silly and full of plot holes, from Mac-compatible alien computer viruses to Jeff Goldblum driving from New York to Washington DC in under six hours during a full-scale traffic apocalypse. But look past all that, and you’ll find a story of Americans putting aside their differences in order to unite and lead the world in defeating a great evil. And this is something that almost every American still wants to believe that we can do.